At this moment my brain ceases to think about his hands on my body. The overpowering scent of his cedarwood cologne. Screaming, my team and I are jumping up and down. We are a family celebrating our very first win. Friends in the stands are cheering. The disbelief on my coach’s face is hysterical. Words really cannot describe this overwhelming feeling of support. Our bodies collide and we all just hug. I feel safe again. All the joy and happiness are blinding. The uncontrollable shrieking in my mind is paused. We take down the net and put the chairs away. The game is over and it is about time to leave.
I push the metal bar on the gym door and I am suddenly alone again. All the happiness is stripped from me as I step through the exit, and when that heavy door aggressively slams behind me, I know it is gone forever. The thought of having to enter the building where I saw his face laughing, having to step foot into the room where it happened...the building that should be safe has lost all of its security. Where I could go and not face the possibility of being violated by someone of authority.
I’m once again swallowed by the flashbacks and agony as I walk home.