I made my sister bleed !
Leandra Rodrigues ’ life was full of problems ; she suffered a tremendous amount , and her suffering led to her becoming sad and depressed .
“ I had to move to Portugal because my father lived there after he ’ d got injured in the army . When I arrived in Portugal , I saw that it was completely different when compared to where I had grown up , in Guinea . Everything was new for me : new people , new ways , and I didn ’ t know how things worked . In Guinea , we spoke a little Portuguese in school , but it wasn ’ t enough for me to communicate comfortably in Portugal .
In school , children would bully me ; they would call me horrible names and pick on my weight . I was the target of their hateful words every day . I eventually had enough of being the laughing stock , so , in order to defend myself , I became aggressive . This became my way of protecting myself , but whenever I got home I would feel terrible . I would break down into tears when no one was around , as I didn ’ t want anyone to see me at my weakest .
As time went on , I became more and more aggressive . I had built up a well of anger and resentment against my father because I found out he was cheating on my mother with another woman . At that point , I didn ’ t even like to look at his face . I hated him . I started binge eating and gaining even more weight as a way to release the anger .
I started treating my younger sister really badly because I knew he liked her more . I wanted him to feel the same hurt that I had felt when he cheated on my mother , and the only way I could accomplish that was through beating my sister . I remember there was a day that I beat my sister so badly she started bleeding and , to this very day , I regret doing so . At the time however , I couldn ’ t care less . In fact , I felt accomplished because I was able to hurt my father through my actions .
I was never able to talk about my problems to anyone ; I felt like if I did they wouldn ’ t understand what I was going through .
However , my mother invited me to a meeting at the UCKG and , although I didn ’ t want to go , I agreed to give it a chance . During this meeting , the man of God gave me steps on how I could change my life situation . He spoke a lot about forgiveness , but I had a hard time forgiving my father . I felt like he didn ’ t deserve to be forgiven , but no matter how hard I tried to change , I was never able to move forward without letting go of the grudge I was holding .
Although I continued to attend the meetings after that day , and more often , it still took me a long time to open up . This was because I had believed for so long that it wasn ’ t necessary for me to talk about how I felt . Once I decided to let go and open up , my life started moving forward . I was attending the Wednesday meetings to influence my inner change ; I was following the steps I had learned at these meetings , and I eventually forgave my father too .
Today I am strong ; I no longer have any insecurities or hold any grudges .”
Today I am strong ; I no longer have any insecurities or hold any grudges . My sister and I are the best of friends ; I no longer lay a finger on her , neither do I comfort-eat ; instead , I have peace inside of me . Never believe that God cannot change your life for the better because that was what I thought , but here I am today – a changed woman !”
Leandra Rodrigues
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