The Link Early Spring 2020 The Link Feb-Mar 2020 v1 | Page 16

Murphy's Other 15 Laws! G HUMPHREY ROOFING Caterham ‡ Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. ‡ A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. ‡ He, who laughs last, thinks slowest. • Tiling • Slating • uPVC Fascias & Soffits • Flat roofing • Guttering • Lead Flashings • General Repairs • Chimneys repointed Family business - husband and wife team Call Gary or Alison 01883 349439 - 07966 467498 [email protected] ‡ A day without sunshine is like … well … night. ‡ Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. ‡ Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. ‡ Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. ‡ The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. ‡ It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them. ‡ If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. ‡ The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those, who got there first. ‡ Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. ‡ Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries. ‡ God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark. '5< &/($1,1* .(< &877,1* $/7(5$7,216 &857$,1 63(&,$/,67 /($7+(5 68('( /($7+(5 68('( ‡ When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. * * * * * Careful what you wish for ... !! A married couple in their 60’s is visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish. “I want to travel around the world with my darling husband” says the wife. Two tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand. ZZZFDSLWDOGU\FOHDQHUVFRXN ZZZFDSLWDORQWKHKLOOFRP 7HO     H +LJK 6WUHHW &DWHUKDP RQ WKH +LOO &5 8( 16 The husband says, “Sorry, but I wish to have a wife 30 years younger than me.” The fairy waves her want and the husband becomes 92! Moral of the story: don’t forget fairies are female! To advertise call 01684 833715 or email: [email protected]