When oral presentations were due, it was
worse. There were epic meltdowns, beginning
with anger and ending with depressive words
and thoughts.
She pleaded to be home-schooled, rather than
go to school.
Even with weekly counselling, Sophie knew
it would take a long time to see much
progress.
All Sarah wanted to do was stay home and
escape into computer games for long periods
of time.
She
neglected
personal
care,
and
responsibilities at home.
Food became an addictive comfort tool,
especially high-sugar and processed foods,
which she bought for herself.
This made her hormonal imbalance worse,
and triggered further anxieties caused by
acne, ovulation pain, and period pain.
But things became worse.
Sarah had secretly been cutting herself.
By accident, Sophie noticed a few cuts on the
inside of Sarah’s wrist (where it meets the
thumb), and realised this was why Sarah had
been so fussy about what she wore – mostly
long sleeves and jumpers, to cover her arms.
At that point, Sophie didn’t realise the full
extent of the problem.
Via texts and memes, Sarah began to indicate
she would rather die than go to school – one
of the most frightening things Sophie had to
deal with as a parent.
As it became a daily occurrence, Sophie
became anxious about leaving her daughter
alone.
She was even more overwhelmed with fear
when, one night, Sarah sent her a disturbing
photo.
It was a picture of her daughter in the bath, at
her dad’s house.
Sarah’s arm, resting on the edge of the bath,
was cut all the way from her thumb to the
inside of her elbow.
Clearly this self-harm had been going on for
some time.
It’s something a parent cannot imagine
seeing, or ever wanting to see.
Clearly, Sarah was desperately crying out for
help; this type of behaviour just doesn’t
happen in healthy, balanced individuals.
At 14 years of age, girls can experience a great
deal of emotional turmoil.
It’s a common age for girls to cut themselves
– especially girls who are sensitive,
overachievers, or perfectionists. It’s also more
than enough to tear parent’s heart apart.
After months of intense stress, which
escalated after she saw what Sarah had done
to her body, Sophie was completely beside
herself.
“After giving birth to a beautiful, adorable
baby, whom you lovingly cherish and nurture,
only to see her grow up and say she would
rather be dead… you wouldn’t wish it on your
worst enemy.
No parent wants to hear their child say she
wants to die, let alone hear it daily.
I felt lost, emotionally wiped out, and
physically run down.
All of my other responsibilities became a
huge effort”, Sophie said.
She continues: “I had no idea how to support
her, other than with love.
I kept thinking that if I said the wrong thing,
it could end disastrously.
I couldn’t tell anyone, because I needed to
protect her trust first and foremost.
I would never forgive myself if something
happened, because she found out I told
someone.
Not even her father knew. I had to be her safe
place”.
Discussing an issue like this with other
parents, friends or family can be very
difficult; many parents simply don’t feel safe
enough to speak out.