The Hometown Treasure February 2012 | Page 42

Healthy It wasn’t more than a day after Christmas that I saw pink and red hearts at a local discount store. While Valentine’s Day is far away from December 26, love is what we market after the hoopla of Christmas. Winter can be long without trademark holidays to look forward to. And February is here. Love is in the air. Everywhere you turn, it’s about love. When thinking about Love, several images come to mind. For many, it’s an idyllic picture of a couple from a movie, a romantic novel, or a love song. It’s a sunset scene on a beach, sealed with a kiss, partners walking off into the horizon. Reality check ... that’s not real love. It’s an image. Perceptions and expectations of what love is can wreak havoc in relationships. Real life doesn’t occur on the beach. Love isn’t a scene. It’s something with many facets needing to be cultivated. Lasting love doesn’t happen overnight. Healthy relationships, like anything worthwhile, take work. Hard work. When putting two people together Hearts ?Healthy Homes by Brenda Yoder, MA, Counselor & Education Consultant for Elijah Haven Crisis Intervention Center in a relationship, many factors affect a commitment to love one another. The image of love says “if the other person loves me, he or she will……” This image is self-focused and conditional. The foundation of healthy love is mutual respect, care, and honor of one another. Given each person’s background, personality, and temperament, the idea of caring for, respecting, and honoring one another becomes complicated when the sunset fades away. One instrumental facet to understanding love is the concept of Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. Dr. Chapman presents five love languages that identify how we speak and feel love. These include quality time, words of encouragement, physical touch and closeness, gift giving, and acts of service. For one person, words of encouragement may be their primary love language, whereas their partner might have physical touch and closeness as the way they feel loved. Understanding these languages helps couples sidestep misunderstandings that can cause roots of bitterness in relationship. If a person needing encouragement rarely hears words of affirmation, they can feel unloved by their spouse, just as one needing a touch of the hand or a daily kiss may feel unloved when these things are lacking. This book is highly recommended to couples of any age. It gives a layer of understanding we don’t find in romance novel or on WBTU. It’s good stuff. Elijah Haven Crisis Intervention Center is a community agency assisting those affected by physical, emotional, mental, or sexual abuse in relationships. February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness month. Prevention of unhealthy relationships is the true intervention for eliminating relationship abuse. Breaking stereotypes, providing education, and places for support is crucial in preventing hurtful relationships. Relationships incurring abuse began at one point with a kiss……. perhaps even on a beach…..with two people thinking of love. Let’s begin the discussion that healthy relationships go far beyond a sensational feeling we call love, and are rooted in mutual respect, care, and honor. Country Lane Furniture New & Used Furniture New Mattress Sets by Elkhart Bedding (Heavy Duty Sets) New Book Shelves Compare our prices before you buy! Quality Used Furniture New Living Room Furniture by New Bed Room Furniture by Schrock Furniture Free Delivery 25 Mile Radius • Regular Hours: Mon. - Fri. 8-6; Sat. 8-4 vm 574-642-1266 • 61113 CR 133 • Goshen, IN 46528 • ½ mile north of State Road 4 on CR 133 The Hometown Treasure · Feb. ‘12 · pg 41