The Happiness Lab Delegate's Guide Chapter 3 — Forgiveness - Page 5

Weigh up if you want to forgive this person or not No one can force you to forgive someone else. To make that choice you need to weigh up the pros and cons of doing so. Personally journey to a place of forgiveness As you journey to the place of forgiveness you must pass through the phases of recalling the hurt that you experienced, trying to understand why the person acted as they did, contemplation of moments when you have hurt others, and, finally, establishing a mindset where you desire to think differently about the person who hurt you. Decide on the best way of expressing forgiveness – for you and them You could go and see them with a friend and chat about what they did to you; you could write them a letter; you could decide to forgive them, but choose never to tell them that or see them again. Only you can decide what is the best way of expressing the forgiveness you have decided to grant. Walk out your new mindset This could mean anything from a restored relationship, to not talking negatively about someone to wishing them the best in life – yet having nothing to do with them yourself. Hold on to forgiveness After you have forgiven someone there will still be moments when you feel the pain of their hurt. At that moment you have to again acknowledge the journey you have gone on and remind yourself of your decision to forgive them. 03 Steps to forgiveness 33