My dissatisfaction with the extra pounds in conjunction with the experiment of these women, demonstrates an interesting pattern. It’s as if each of us has a unique built-in microchip which
contains the “yes” and “no” standards of appearance, achievements, knowledge, abilities, and so on. This chip has information about how things should be in all spheres of life. If we fit in,
everything is fine and we are pleased with ourselves, if not — the consequences are different. And what if these standards are set too high or too low beforehand?
The fact is self-esteem should be based on two components — our own standards and the opinions of others about us. There is no consensus among psychologists which one has priority. On the one hand, ignoring the opinions of others and focusing only on an absolute belief in one's perfection leads to overestimating self-esteem and illusions. On the other hand, dependence only on the opinions of others with endless applause or criticism while ignoring one's own feelings
develops self-distrust. Those who know me, are aware that I am a supporter of the golden middle. I believe that our own beliefs are essential given that they establish our own vision.
However, it’s also important to process the opinions of others, which act as mirrors, with a few caveats.
When taking into account the opinions of others, it is useful to remember that such people can be divided into three groups — those who are unhappy about our change, those who are neutral and those who are happy. It’s best to avoid the opinions of those in the first category given that, for one reason or another our