At the second stage of change, we still continue processing our emotions, but their intensity diminishes, giving path to logic and reasoning. At this point, we begin to realize that our new partner is not “Mr. or Mrs. Perfect” but someone with inherent weaknesses and failures. We realize that our new job does involve challenges and that our boss is not the fluffy kitten they appeared to be during the interview. Regarding loss, we start to accept this, start thinking in terms of irrevocability and what we can do to get back to a normal life.
The third stage of change is adaptation where things become habitual and change feels familiar. On one hand, habituation is a great gift that helps in the adaptation to negative life circumstances while on the other hand it may deprive us from experiencing constant gratitude and excitement from positive news-events-situations. Overall, we adapt to pain and happiness until the next new stimuli initiates a new cycle of reactions, and the circular process repeats itself.
If we want change to initiate a higher level of development, there is one necessity at this third stage — awareness and awakening. Think in the following terms: do not view life as a circle but as an upwards spiral whereby each stimuli may work in the same way as adding a coin to the piggy bank of our wisdom. Two questions to ask ourselves that will help maintain self-awareness are:
What did I learn from these news-events-situations?
How can I implement this new knowledge?