"I love you mom, and just like that it made it all better! Telling them that " Everything was going to be ok and "You are fine!" were becoming consistent in my vocabulary even when I didn't know that to be the case. I pretended to believe it so that I could gain the same strength I was giving them. The day-to-day memories and clips of building memories reminded me of why I was given those two precious lives to raise. For it was my responsibility to take care of the day-to-day until they would no longer need me to do for them. We built a lifetime of memories! Was it easy? Of course, raising children without a two-parent household is never easy but I was doing it! After a while, I was in "mother mode" which meant I was busy all the time and like a train at full speed ahead, I was in full force. I was moving all the time and the ride was getting smoother and smoother because I did not give up! I got to balance our lives like a person riding a bike for the first time. It is difficult and almost nearly impossible to do until you get better and better at it. Meanwhile, I was being taught a valuable life lesson. Children are INNOCENT!! And through their innocence, my children taught me that I had made the right choice and that life goes on and nothing stays the same forever. The train will run at full speed and it is up to you and me whether to get "on" or "off" that train. They helped me fulfill my purpose in life which was to be… A SINGLE PARENT.
As my children got older, I went back to get more education and obtained first a bachelor’s degree of Science and later a master’s degree in social work simultaneously while continuing to care for them. I was still living in Camden, NJ but I was not going to live like I was living in a poverty-stricken city. I was determined that I was going to make it further in my education... And I did! A choice that brought a positive consequence as did raising my children as a single parent.
In summary, single parenting can make you feel like you're going crazy at times, they can make you feel like you're failing, struggling at times, and have may even feel like giving up. You will go through doubt, sadness, confusion, lack of support, anger, anxiety, like you, are at fault even if you try to parent adequately meaning you could have done something better! It is ok to feel those emotions as they are part of the parenting process. What is