Who says you can't raise children on your own while having a career and/or attending school full time? You can and how do I know? Because I did it! My name is Jannette Ramos and I raised two boys while working on my master’s degree in Social Work and while being employed full time. This was my life as a single mother who pushed through all the barriers that were set up against me from the beginning. A failed marriage, no father to help me raise our children, no further education other than a High School Diploma, and trauma that surrounded me. I was being tested to see if I could handle being a single mother while working on myself.
As a child, I was abandoned by my father and knew that what I wanted as a child was to have unconditional love and a positive upbringing. I was fortunate to have that from my mother as she gave that to me; however, there was a void that left me feeling incomplete. That void came from issues of abandonment from my father. I wished I could have received the attention of my dad who was supposed to protect me from the cruel world, but I didn't get it. What I did get instead, were feelings of sadness, uncertainty, confusion, and questioning why my father would not want to spend time with me. Heck, I did not want to him when I had children and I was going to be the best parent in the world!! My boys were going to have the best that they could receive if I had anything to do or say so in the matter! And I did have a lot to say and do about it as the responsibility was given to me. Sadly, through poor decision-making, the male I chose to have children with was just like my father and completed the same mistake of abandoning his children. For reasons of drug use, fatherhood was not in his path and I learned what it would be like to raise children on my own. That younger me was forced to grow up and remember that one day, my children would appreciate all that I did for them on my own.
Single parenting in the City of Camden New Jersey, where the population was mostly of Puerto Rican and African American people, poverty was the norm, children were fatherless and mothers either allowed their children to be cared for by other relatives or the foster care system,