would be ostracized; I thought that some
of my family would not speak to me again as a
result of sharing “private” information. I also
feared not fully knowing or understanding if I
was truly healed from my past pain. I feared
having to end Queendom T.E.A. due to a lack
of support and funding.
I handled this by just continuing the work
I was doing. I did not stop advocating and I
relentlessly asked (and still do) for financial
support to continue mentoring the youth in my
program. I also believed that if this was truly my
life’s purpose that God would make a way.
Since 2008, I have worked tirelessly to
help victims of abuse in various forms,
especially through our girls. Since beginning
pageantry and Queendom T.E.A. in 2008, I
singlehandedly have been able to mentor and
empower over 400 girls in the United States and
abroad. I also have encouraged and
empowered many adults. I see no end in sight
to this work. So how long you ask? Beginning in
2008 and continuing for the rest of my life.
Do not expect your passion to become
everyone else’s passion. When we work hard
at any task, it is simple for us to see its
importance, its necessity. Even when we
passionately share our vision, dreams, tasks
and goals with others, we can still get blank
stares, nonchalant attitudes and
condescending remarks. Does that detract
from its importance? Absolutely not. We must
continue the work for the audience that awaits
our insight, encouragement and call to the
tasks.
To continue my healing process daily, I
engage in prayer, morning walks, reading or
creating my own positive affirmations and
enjoying a nice cup of Organo Gold Café
Mocha coffee. I also find it peaceful to write
poetry, draw pictures and/or just escape inside
of a good book.
Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the
change you want to see in the world.”
I am.
Many have asked me whether or
not I have had formal counseling; the answer is
55
“No”. I have to admit, my healing
process has been different from the norm. I
began writing poetry and drawing in my
youth. In college, I formed a closer
relationship with Jesus Christ. Presently, I use
my relationship with God to help with
advocating against all of the hurt I
experienced in my past.
I find pleasure in uniting with
other survivors, encouraging them to seek
their own happiness and even watching
some grow into the success they were
destined to be. I anxiously share my story of
survival, statistics and warning signs to teens,
parents, law enforcement and department
of social services employees as they look at
me with horror in their eyes. But, how do I
feel? I feel proficient in my knowledge of
sexual abuse and domestic violence. I feel
savvy in the creative way I have been able
to present this information to so many.
Now I stand, as a strong and
successful survivor, believing in the words of
my God:
“…My grace is sufficient for thee: for
my strength is made perfect in weakness.
Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my
infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest
upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in
infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in
persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for
when I am weak, then am I strong.”
(II Corinthians 9-10)
If you are someone you know is a victim of
sexual abuse, contact a confidential counselor.
Rape Abuse & Incest Nation