MIND
Affirmations:
Reach out:
Build your self esteem by positive
affirmations. Search books on the internet
for positive quotes, poems and songs about
gay life and repeat these to yourself as often
as you feel necessary. Memorise them if
needed.
As said earlier it is important to get to know
other LGBT people be it in person or online.
You don't need to go to clubs or bars
immediately, that can be scary. Try to find
an LGBT support group, a book-club or
even a fitness club. People often think they
immediately have to go
to clubs and sometimes
this scares them: Clubs
are fun, but not the only
place to meet with other
LGBT members.
Tolerance:
This one might seem
odd: why would you
tolerate those that do
not tolerate you? Well, it
just makes things easier.
If you are forced to put
up with people at work
or intolerant neighbours
there is merit in the old
practise of “letting the
idiot talk”. As long as
someone is not harming
you or have it in for you
personally, let people
spill their bile and ignore
it. Often people are so
fixed in their opinions
that it is a waste of time
to get upset about it or to
try and change them.
Smile, think of
something else, pity the
fool and then carry on
with your day.
If you’re forced
to put up with
people at work
or intolerant
neighbours
there’s merit in
the old practise
of “letting the
idiot talk”
Read and watch:
Seek out videos, books
and articles of other people that describe
their journey and follow the advise that
speaks to you. Even if you do not care for
any of the advise given, it is good to take
comfort in the fact that there are others like
you out there that took the same journey
and made it.
Don't expect too
much:
People often think that
once they set out on the
scene and come out to
their friends and family
everything will be
different, a new life
starts and it will be
wonderful. Sadly no,
these sparkling coming
out movies are just that:
movies. It takes time to
find your way in the
scene, to meet someone
and build a life. Also you
will have to come out
more than once: you will
have to come out to
every new person that
becomes part of your life
and you will continue to
get into situations where
you face prejudice and homophobia. If you
accept these possibilities and try to make
the most of the good things in life
everything else will come easily.
Dannii Cohen is a psychologist, counsellor
and author specialised in LGBT issues.
THEGAYUK | ISSUE 17 | DEC 2015 129