B y C a r o l H e a d e n
THE GIFT OF TAKING CARE OF AGING PARENTS
I grew up in a family where every Sunday, my sister, two brothers and I went to Sunday School and then church service along with our parents and grandparents. We would come home after service and have those big family dinners which was so special because we all lived in the same house. My grandparents lived on the first floor and we lived upstairs. Being the youngest had its advantages, I didn’ t have to do anything but makeup my bed and keep my side of the room clean that I shared with my sister. By the time I was fifteen, my parents had divorced but remained cordial. I was heartbroken but because of the love that I had for my parents and them for me, we still maintained our special bond. Many years had passed and my grandparents went home to be with the Lord. My siblings were older and busy with their friends, so they were always out and about but I maintained that closeness with my parents. Mom always use to say my Dad spoiled me rotten, I would laugh because whether she knew it or not, she did too.
“ Although I saw it, I refused to accept it.“
I was in my thirties when my Dad began to deal with some health challenges. No matter what I was doing work, etc., God always made a way for me to be there to take him to the doctors, grocery store or wherever he needed to go. When he was admitted to the hospital, I would go to see him everyday and brought him home when it was time to be discharged. We spoke every morning at 9:00am and every night at 9:00pm to say goodnight and oftentimes would talk throughout the day. After all, that was my Daddy and I was still his little girl. When the Lord called my Dad home, I was devastated. I never would have imagined that last call to say goodnight would be our last. It took some time but then Holy Spirit let me know that although I wasn’ t with him when he died, God allowed us to still say our goodbyes. It was a hard pill to swallow but I had to accept that my assignment for my dad had been fulfilled.
During the time of tending to my Dad, I remained close to my Mom, who was my rock through it all. In 2006, my Mom suggested that we buy a house together. I was so honored and couldn’ t believe that she asked me. We became even closer and had the best times together. We did everything together; church, special events and my absolute most favorite thing, shopping at the mall with her. Things were going good, then Mom started to have health challenges. Although I saw it, I refused to accept it. As Mom’ s health started to decline, our going out almost came to a complete stop. I was determined though to get her to church; she loved the Lord and if you knew her, you would know that to be true. I had gotten hurt on my job as a Corrections Officer and had to retire early. The timing was amazing because my Mom needed me more and if I was still working, I couldn’ t have given her that one on one attention. Mom had started having more severe health challenges which caused her to be in and out of the hospital. Each time she went in, she came home and I would love up on her just like she had done for me. Then the last time she went to the
hospital, she didn’ t come back home, she had gone to be with the Lord. Once again, devastation surrounded me. When I look back, I realize just how truly blessed I was to love and care for my aging parents. This was my greatest gift from God!
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