The Diogenes June 2014 | Page 14

Humor in Healthcare Technology Management

Many managers find themselves overseeing the work of technologists and engineers without really understanding the detail of their work. We have decided that if BMETs must learn how to talk rovider laymen terms, then it would be best served for an clinicians to learn our technical jargon too. :D

What it Really Means...

WWW = World Wide Wait-longer-than-a-minute

ISDN = It Still Does Nothing

SCSI = System Can't See It

DOS = Defective Operating System

IBM = I Blame Microsoft

PENTIUM = Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect

Understanding Of Mathematics

BASIC = Bill's Attempt to Sieze

Industry Control

APPLE = Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

CD-ROM = Consumer Device - Rendered Obsolete Monthly

COBOL = Completely Obsolete Business-Orientated Language

MIPS = Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed

WINDOWS = Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

MACINTOSH = Most Applications Crash If Not The Operating

System Hangs

MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software

Only Fools Teens

SWAG = Scientific Wild A$$ Guess

Other Terms for technology managers......

TREEWARE: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.

DILBERTED: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again --our boss revised the specs for the fourth time this week."