Now-a Days
Lately, I have been home alone.
Not too many rings or texts on the phone.
No more group sessions of smoking a bone,
Just me home alone........
Into the booth and out,
There's not a doubt that I will be finished, one day......
No more games to play on the PS2 and 360.....
I hope they don't forget me......
But I am losing myself.....
A silent cry for help, dealing with the cards that were dealt....
I've been placed on a shelf that says "DON'T TOUCH!"
Walks to work, and conversations to myself,
Wondering if I need anyone else,
Or maybe radiation of hurtful ways, should only stay to myself.....
I know the pleasant-ful ways in me,
Still scarred by my childhood memories how no one would ever defend me.....
And now I am home alone.....
"Wish moms would pick up the phone, but that’s only a wish."
"Wish I could wake up some mornings to my daughter’s gentle kiss."
Sometimes just want to hear, "Aye daddy look at this!"
But my home is silent.........
Wish I could jump on a plane whenever I wanted to........
Maybe to see, you know who........
But the scars are just so god-damn deep, even me and her are through.......
Not for the best of me but for her,
How can so much damage occur, when I am just trying to love again.......?
Why do I have a shortage of friends......?
Why is it easy for some to sit and pretend,
It's like I never existed......
But the construction team is here to build that wall that they started........
I must practice; thorns from the cactus will ooze, out this evil.......
Saving my people can also save me,
This is how I will break free from personal thoughts,
Poetry, music, newspaper reports,
When I grace the stage once again, they'll feel the peek of my source,
Because I am practicing........