is not the case. The “necks” are the
women who crave to control and
manipulate their husbands to suit
their own selfish motives. They have
the tendency to change the direc-
tion the “head” is going and which
is what happened to Adam and Eve
in the garden. They were on a set
course of obedience to God until
Eve derailed it. An Asafomaame is
actually the “rib” and our function
is to support, protect and empower
our husbands just like the rib cage
does in the body. In other words,
to support him spiritually, morally,
financially, emotionally, etc; pro-
tect his vision and empower him
to succeed and prevail against any
opposition. A lot of Asafomaames
are not fulfilled because they are
not fulfilling this assignment, and
just like Dr Myles Munroe quoted,
“when purpose is unknown abuse
is inevitable”.
TCM: And what will be your advice
to other Asafomaame out there?
GTK: Something I learnt from a book
by Ruth Graham, the wife of Billy
Graham, which is “Never allow your
husband to be what the Holy Spir-
it should be for you.” The Spirit of
God should be ‘everything’ to you.
He is your source of joy, strength,
peace and all. He knows you and
He knows your husband even more
than your husband knows himself.
He (the Holy Spirit) will give you wis-
dom to effectively play your role. I
advise women a lot but what I tell
them is this; “I will give you general
wisdom but know that our spous-
es are different (in assignments
and temperaments), and you can’t
handle yours exactly how I handle
mine; as such intimacy with the Spir-
it of God will empower you to know
your husband better and to support
him appropriately.” Of course this
role comes with a lot of challenges;
persecutions, betrayals, false accu-
sations, etc, but the Holy Spirit en-
ables one to handle things rightly.
TCM: Which personalities (foreign
and local) are or were very instru-
mental in the woman you have be-
come today?
GTK: Locally, the first would be my
parents and then my husband. As
a senior pastor’s wife, Lady Rev.
Adelaide Heward-Mills has been of
great inspiration to me. (I have per-
sonally spoken to her just once).
She’s a great but humble woman
who I admire so much simply by
considering her husband’s ministry.
Can you imagine being the wife of
a great Man of God with over 3,000
churches worldwide and still grow-
ing? This feat cannot be achieved
without a wise, understanding
and supportive wife! I listen to her
teachings a lot and have learnt a lot
from her. My inclination towards
her ministry is also because of the
similarities with what my husband
and I are working to achieve. I also
look up to some few other women
like Lady Rev. Dr. Abena Tay, a tru-
ly amazing