6 • The Beacon November 24 , 2022

As the holiday season is coming , I thought this was a good reminder for all of the special needs families .

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Food Truck , Homemade crafts and Vendors !

December 3 , 2022 • 10am - 6pm 115 N . Water St . at Coshocton Village Inn

At one of our ASK Autism support group meetings , one topic that came up was how to deal with the comments — the stares — the outright rudeness of some people when our children with autism might act “ different ” than others while out in public or even at family and friend functions .

How do you handle the questions , the comments ? How do you not feel like crying when someone is mean to your child ?

It really is one of the hardest parts of autism to handle . Just being a parent makes you want to protect your children from mean people . Add in the autism — cause , you know , someone different either brings out the best or the worst in people — and it can be so tough . And unfortunately , it seems the mean people always find you on days where you are already stressed and near tears . The holiday season just adds more stress and more opportunities for those “ helpful ” people to make you want to cry and never leave home again .

Don ’ t let them do that to you . Your family has just as much right to be at every activity as everyone else . Yes , it ’ s hard . Yes , you will get mad . Yes , you will cry . And yes , you will eventually develop a thick skin and will learn to let those

comments roll off your skin . You also will learn to give a death stare to people . Most people will look away quickly once they realize you overheard their nastiness and don ’ t care . Besides , you can always hope karma gets them later .

So back to our meeting . I felt so bad for one young mom . She has a son with autism and took him to a Christmas activity . It was crowded and overwhelming . This poor mom heard the comments about her sweet , little boy . Instead of helping her or encouraging her for being brave enough to try , people weren ’ t kind . She took her son and went home ready to cry .

Her comment was she thought she would just stay home from now on . Been there , felt that so often . I ’ ve cried leaving places . I ’ ve cried once I got us all safely home and could hide from the kids . I ’ ve ranted to myself . It took years , but I have that tough skin .

It ’ s rare now someone ’ s comments get to me . It does still happen , though . Not as bad as it used to , and usually , if a comment hurts me , it comes from someone I never expect to make such a comment . It takes longer to develop that thick skin around family and friends , but your first priority is always your child . Some families take a little longer to learn how amazing your child is .

Another mom and I shared that we knew how these young moms felt . We understand how hard it is to let the world see your child and not know if the world will love and accept him / her or will be cruel . We also know it ’ s important for your child to be able to explore the world . You will never know what your child might like if you don ’ t try .

It may take several tries before you know for sure . It might mean you try and then wait a long time to try again . Only you will know , but don ’ t let the rude people of the world scare you into staying home .

I ’ ve lost my temper with a few people who made comments about Casey and Rob . I ’ ve — not my finest moment — yelled at people in stores . I ’ ve stopped moms and embarrassed them by telling them how their children treated mine . I ’ ve developed a death glare for those I catch staring . I ’ ve ignored some people . I ’ ve replied to some comments by saying , “ Thank you for showing me there are worse things in the world than autism . My child could be rude and mean like you .”

Remember , I ’ ve been doing this for more than 30 years . It takes a long time to learn to ignore what other people say and think . You will get there , though . Keep trying new things . Meet new people . Learn to glare . Learn to stand up to bullies . Remember no one ’ s opinion really matters . You can do this . I ’ m sure of it .

If all else fails , ask a veteran autism parent to go places with you . You can learn from the best .

For more stories about autism , please visit www . autismappleskoolaid . com or Facebook / Autism Apples Koolaid . ASK Autism meets monthly at the Coshocton County Career Center , and everyone with an interest in autism or special needs is welcome . Visit Facebook / ASK Autism or email coshoctonaskautism @ yahoo . com for more information .