The Blah Jan. 2013 | страница 2

Breaking News

"Missing" Student Home With Flu.

The Boring High student body was forced to call off their two day search for a student they believed to be missing since Monday when they discovered that the student was not actually missing.

14-year-old sophomore Seth Daze was marked absent in all of his class for two days, according to the Boring High attendance record. This sparked concern from many of his class mates.

“It’s just not like Seth to miss school, so we figured something happened to him” said student body president Bob Humbug.

Humbug voiced his concern to the rest of the class and decided to form a search party. All 14 students at Boring High came to participate in the search, said Humbug.

The search party canvased many of Daze’s favorite spots, including the corn field, the well, and the junkyard. Hours passed before any evidence of his whereabouts was found. Two freshmen came across a baseball glove in the corn fields around 6 in the evening, according to search coordinator Bev Bleary. The glove had Daze’s initials on the inside and many students testified to having seen Daze with the glove. “It was a bad sign because Seth wouldn’t just leave his stuff out in the open,” said Bleary, “but it was our only clue.”

Bleary ended the search at eight and told the students they would reconvene the next day to thoroughly search the field where they found the glove.. They all looked upset that they still had not found him, said Humbug at the end of day one of the search.

Before the search party gathered by the school after school the next day, Bleary sent a group of students over to the Daze family to gather any possible leads. When the group arribed at the home, they learned that Seth had never been missing.

According to his mother Eliza Daze, Seth had caught the flu over the weekend and wasn’t able to return to school for a few days. When asked about the baseball glove in the corn field Ms. Daze that Seth had lent it to a friend. The small group of students returned to the search party and informed them of Seth’s condition.

“We were a little embarassed about it, but we’re glad that Seth is safe at home” said President Humbug.

Seth is expected to return to school tomorrow.

Custodian Saves Lives of Countless Students

Boring High School’s senior custodian potentially saved the entire student body from a puddle of juice after lunch period on Monday.

Jim Bland, 57, was attending to his usual duty of litter patrol in the cafeteria. The studends were seemingly calm “just like any other day,” Bland said. Towards the end of the period another custodial staff member called in a spill in a high traffic area.

Allegedly, an unidentified student had carelessly disposed of their lunch. The lunch tray landed on the ground which resulted in the puddle of juice, according to the custodial records.

Bland quickly realized the potential danger and immediately went to the janitors’ closet. He arrived at the spill with the necessary equipment only moments later, reported the first responding custodian.

“I’ve never seen any move so fast with a mop,” ninth grade student Mary Dull said. Dull witnessed Bland arrive on the scene to clean the puddle. He wrung out the mop and proceeded to attack the spill with circular motions, the record states. After repeating this several times, Bland went over the entire area with Pledge. “The whole hallway smelled like lemons,” Dull said.

The spill was minimal, according to the custodial record, but could have posed a serious threat to the safety of the students. “Anyone could have slipped and fallen on the apple juice,” Principal Boring said, “we are lucky that Jim got there when he did.”

Bland is scheduled to receive a ceremony of honor next week for his outstanding efforts during the incident, according to Principal Boring.

The student at fault for the spill remains unidentified.