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Three Poems by eric cline:
I AM WRITING ABOUT BEING GAY
even when i am not writing about being gay. masks
repeat like lies about what i am
or how comfortable i am around those who are not
as i am. lies about how
i feel at peace with them, alike to them, equal to
everyone else. i do not not feel
equal to everyone else. i have
never forgotten being thirteen, staring at a
wall and, despite not believing in god, asking
god to change me.
i have never forgotten saying “no”
when other boys asked if i was gay, just to wish they would
ask again mere seconds later. i have never forgotten knowing
i would not be any braver the second time around. i
have lost count of how many times i
have come out of the closet. i have lost count of
how many times (around bigots, classmates, extended
family members, in gas stations, workplaces, among
those who would hate me and among those who would
still love me) i have crept
back inside it
like a turtle in the middle
of the street, retreating into the shell it knows
cannot withstand the coming tires.