Keep words/ phrases process oriented. Saying "everything is just fine" is neither realistic nor helpful. In case of the second baseman missing the ground ball example, he might say something like,
“Ok Matt, you know what to do next time since you’ve done it a
thousand times. Just move up on the ball.”
The breakdown:
“Ok Matt” – identifying by first name
“you know what to do next time” – acknowledging that you made a mistake in a
non-threatening way. (Remember, the brain
reacts negatively to threats).
“since you’ve done it a thousand times” – reinforces you have the skills.
“Just move up on the ball” – Solution to the problem by focusing on the
process not the outcome.
Whenever you find yourself feeling depressed, angry, anxious or upset use this as a signal to reflect on your thinking. What are you saying to yourself? Is it really factual? (Sometimes people confuse thoughts or feelings with reality). Is what you’re saying moving you towards your goals? Is what you’re saying beating you down or figuring out solutions to improve the next time a similar situation arises? When things go wrong people have a tendency to exaggerate the consequences and imagine that the results will be disastrous.
On the flip-side, if something good happens, latch on to that feeling. Support it with positive emotionally associated words or phrases.
Don’t Think of a Grey Elephant. Guess what. You just did. Your unconscious mind does not process negatives. It can’t process words like “don’t” or “not”. In fact, it ignores them.
The human brain cannot NOT think of something. It has to think about it before it “cannot” think about it. So when doing self-talk don’t say or think about moving away from what you don’t want. Say and think about moving toward what you do want.
No: “I’m not going to strike out” – mind hears “I’m going to strike out.”
Yes: “See the ball well out of the pitchers hand.” – mind hears the same.
Relaxation (covered in this issue). According to multiple studies, relaxation can help you clear the way to think more objectively about yourself. When we get all “ramped up” our emotions tend to also ramp up which interferes with our logical thinking. Even a quick relaxation technique that only takes a few seconds will help reset your thinking.
Take time and assess what words work for you. Sounds simple but it does take honesty. What words do you really feel strongly about? The best way to start is to think of a time where you felt or performed great. Really consider it.
How did you feel? What emotions did you feel? What did the experience look like? (yeah a bit of visualization). Now start listing the words you are using to describe those feelings and emotions.
Recheck ever so often. Some words will start to lose their affect after a while due to new experiences, change in beliefs/ mindset, etc.
The key here is to practice. The more you work on improving your self-talk, the easier it will become. See Dr. McKay’s article How to break bad habits using neuroscience.
The Baseball Observer - Mental Skills Issue
18