34 The Art of Accompaniment
manner in which they connect, communicate, establish boundaries, and
share space with the one they accompany. Self-awareness is important for
the mentor, as their presence influences the relationship of the one they
accompany with themselves, God, and others.
Self-awareness involves the informed perception of self, the recognition
of gifts, the identification of personality and communication habits, and
the naming of weaknesses in order to live with love, mercy, and justice.
Self-awareness cultivates love through the mentor's honoring of their unique
gifts and existence for the good of the one accompanied, promotes mercy
that transforms weaknesses and faults in the mentor's actions and person-
ality, and invokes justice for the mentor to give the one they accompany
what they are due in the light of God’s plan. For a mentor to accompany
effectively, they must be aware of their temperment, disposition, strengths,
and weaknesses so that they might grow in holiness and assist others in the
same. By being self-aware, the mentor understands the processes and habits
of their mind, heart, and soul. This understanding honors their identity,
the one they accompany, and God. This awareness allows mentors “to do
justice and to love goodness, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah
6:8) alongside the one accompanied.
“acknowledges their limits”
To fruitfully and effectively accompany, the mentor must discern their
own capabilities. The mentor can adequately identify their strengths while
acknowledging areas that call for improvement, further formation, or the
assistance of other resources. This includes not only knowing what forms of
accompaniment they are best-suited to the one accompanied, but also ac-
knowledging what they are and are not responsible for in the accompanying
relationship. Both the mentor and the one accompanied must understand
that spiritual accompaniment is distinguished from traditional spiritual di-
rection, therapy, or the sacrament of reconciliation, but that these can be
helpful outside resources adjacent to the relationship of accompaniment.
Healthy spiritual accompaniment requires that the mentor and the one
accompanied mutually understand each other’s roles, respect personal and
boundaries of one another, and recognize the goals of spiritual accompa-
niment. Upon beginning the relationship of accompaniment, the mentor
must be able to communicate clear and reasonable boundaries to the one