Appendix 111
also take care to listen to the details of the experiences of those they accom-
pany. Things such as knowing the favorite hobbies, preferred sports teams,
or family life of those they accompany allow mentors to make those they
accompany feel invested in, valued, and known. Levity should also charac-
terize the relationship of accompaniment; lightheartedness, tenderness, and
humor are important ways in which mentors can build the relationship on a
solid foundation.
Besides conversations and sharing, mentors might go about beginning
to become familiar with those they accompany by seeking common ground
with them. Initial conversations between mentors and those accompanied
at the beginning of the relationship might involve discussions of what is
held in common in both of their experiences. Examples of common ground
between mentors and those accompanied might include education, culture,
ethnicity, ministerial roles, academic or professional field, similar hobbies,
geographical area, spiritual tradition, or belonging to a particular institu-
tion. Sharing common experiences allows for familiarity to grow between
mentors and those accompanied.
Another important component of getting to know those accompa-
nied is establishing their hopes and goals for the relationship of accompa-
niment. Before setting out on the journey of accompaniment with those
they accompany, mentors must know which destination they are heading
towards. Mentors might also ask those they accompany to name the ways
that they can be particularly helpful in the relationship to ensure fruitful
accompaniment.
Because accompaniment is primarily a method that assists in growth
in holiness and Christlike transformation, it is also important that mentors
learn about the spiritual lives of those they accompany. This involves learn-
ing about where those accompanied are spiritually in their lives, including
their relationship with God, the frequency of their prayer, times when they
have felt distant or close to God, saints or holy figures they particularly
identify with, their relationship to the Church, and their general sense of
their own vocation. Initial conversations in the relationship of accompani-
ment should begin with prayer as mentors and those they accompany should
become comfortable praying together.