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THE TEXT YOUR EX BACK STEP-BY-STEP SYSTEM REVEALED
side of the road and you spent hours yelling and screaming about
it, you should probably leave that out.
“Us Against Them” experiences - These are experiences where it felt
like you and your ex were a “unit” and were really there for each
other against a common enemy. (In-laws and parents make great
common enemies, as long as it doesn’t seem like you are criticizing
your ex’s family.) These can be a little complicated. Examples
could be when you helped your ex get out of a sticky legal spot,
when you stood up for your girlfriend as she was getting hit on by
a guy, etc.
Bonding Tragedies or Challenges - This is where you take a negative
and make it a positive. Bonding tragedies or challenges are times
when you and your ex really went through a tough experience to-
gether. For instance, the death of a family member, a natural dis-
aster (“We were huddled in the dark for six hours together, waiting
for the hurricane to abate”), a car wreck, a trip to Burning Man or
some other hostile environment, boot camp, etc. Anything where
it was HARD but satisfying and had a positive outcome.
Romantic Experiences - Romantic memories might include the night
you proposed or got married, a really romantic vacation at a spa, a
time you surprised your partner with a day off or a trip, etc. Any-
thing where it was really just the two of you enjoying each other
without any outside interference. This could also be the moment
you discovered you were in love or other emotionally heavy mo-
ments. (Side note: Did you know that science shows men are ac-
tually more romantically minded than women? Weird but true.)
Family Experiences - These are the moments where you felt proud of
your family or were really happy that your partner was there. The
birth of a child, or your grandparents’ anniversary gathering. That
time you thought your kids were threatened but they turned out
OK.
Positive Sexual Experiences - Ahh, sex. No matter how long you were
together (or how bland things may ultimately have happened in the
bedroom), I’m willing to bet you have some particular sexual expe-
riences with your ex that you revisit in your fantasies again and
again. And I’m willing to bet your ex does, as well. These should
be moments when you felt particularly close to your ex emotion-
ally, felt “out of control” physically, tried new things in the bedroom
(with positive or at least goofy results), had the most amazing or-
gasm of your life, or otherwise ended up in a sweaty, happy pile
together. Public sex experiences are great for this (the thrill of
almost getting caught sticks in the unconscious for a long time).
“Mundane” Experiences You Both Enjoyed - And finally, we’ve got the
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