You’re Not Alone
Dealing With Death and the Loss of a Loved One
By Amy Walker, LPC
L
ife has a way of being so normal one day and symptoms are similar. Grief is a normal process that bedelivering a body punch the next. The occurrence comes easier with time. Grief comes in waves. It can be
of the death of someone you love can change influenced by a lot of different feelings. A lot of times, just
your whole life in an instance. Just taking a breath when we think we can handle life, we are hit with the recan seem difficult. Grieving experts Raymond Mitsch and alization of our loss and the pain comes over our whole
Lynn Brookside say, “In the weeks and months following being again. It is at this moment that you understand grief is
the death of someone we love, we often feel like humpy not moving in a straight line forward but more side to side
dumpty. That’s the only way to describe it. We feel broken. and back and forth.
We hurt so much that our pain seems almost tangible. We
move cautiously and uncertainly because our nerve endings are all on the alert, sensitive to the slightest stimulus.
We breathe shallowly as if we’re afraid to take a deep
breath for fear our lungs will press too harshly upon our
aching heart.”
I have a friend who is from a very large family. She is the
oldest of 11 children. She and her family were embarking
on a new adventure. They were moving across state for a
promotion her father had gotten. During their travels, her
41-year old mother died from heart failure on the side of
the road. She went from being part of a happy, excited
family to a single individual grouped with others with no
center.
When someone is told that their loved one has died, they
most often experience some degree of shock. This is normal. Shock allows us time to process the realization and
gravity of what has just happened. It is in this moment that
we feel, “nothing.” In the days ahead is when the multitude
of other emotions wash over you. Denial, anger and bargaining are just a few of the stages these emotions can lead
us to. Knowing that you will never be in the presence of that
person again is the worst kind of abandonment. It is at this
moment that you may actually feel completely without hope
and all alone.
According to Mitsch and Brookside, “Allow grief to help you
Grief is not something you have to experience alone. When become a better person as you learn from it and help others
you’re experiencing a hurt as huge as losing a loved one to through their pain. We can also help ourselves as we grasp
death, it’s easy to feel like no one could possibly know the the importance of this moment and this day. We do have a
pain you feel. It is at this time when
choice of whether we want to be better
you should find others who are experior bitter because of what we’ve expeencing similar feelings of loss. This alrienced.”
lows healthy grieving to occur. Strong
In conclusion, it is important for you to
feelings and emotions are validated,
know what resources are available in your
GRIEF SUPPORT
giving you a sense of “normalcy”
local community to
when you realize others have felt the
help you during this
Guardian Hospice offers a monthsame way and have the same hurts
difficult time.
ly grief support group open to the
you do. Being able to talk with others
public the first Monday of every
with these similar feelings is freeing in
Author Amy Walkmonth from 6-7 pm at the Guarda sense. After all, you’re not alone!
er, LPC, works as a
ian office located at 614 N. Travis
Not dealing with our feelings allows
grief counselor for
Street in Sherman, TX.
depression to develop. The grief proGuardian Hospice
cess is not depression, although their
in Sherman, Texas.
TEXOMA AREA Living Well Magazine | SPRING 2015
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