UNFINISHED
BUSINESS
I have been a healthcare professional for more than thirty years. Having worked in hospitals, doctor’s offices, mental wellness units, long term care facilities, hospice, and jails. I believed that I had this death and dying stuff down pat-the actual signs of demise and the grieving process. Yes that is what I thought until my mother died. Then nothing I had learned and practiced and even taught made any sense. This was my Mother. None of the things I tried eased the pain or the feeling of loss and being so lonely. After my Mother died I never returned to work. I obsessed about where my Mother was and tried to recall Scripture from when I was saved and attended church…almost 40 years prior. I never considered myself bad. I always believed that I was good enough. I drank wine occasionally but certainly not every day. I treated people kindly. I always got along well with my coworkers. I took care of my family, financially. I considered myself good enough. I sustained a long-term relationship, remaining both faithful and supportive to my significant other. I was a good person. Good enough to get into heaven. I knew and practiced most of the Ten Commandments…God does not expect us to be perfect. So I was pretty sure I was good enough. Still there was something not right. Just that little feeling that something was unfinished.
I was driving by a church, just above my house, one afternoon. I had driven by that church almost daily for at least ten years. On this day my car just seemed to pull slightly to the right. I noticed it but kept on driving and it drove fine after that. It kept happening every time I drove past West Fifth Avenue Freewill Baptist Church.
I stopped after the fourth or fifth time and read the church sign. I decided I would attend the 7pm service the next Wednesday night and go
to the altar to make sure I was still good enough to get to see my Mother again. The Pastor was preaching from 1 Corinthians 13:12 that says in heaven you are known as you are known on Earth. I was satisfied that I would know my Mother and she would know me. Okay, business with the Lord to be completed. I went up to the altar and rededicated my life and I was done. I never intended to go back. I was good enough. However God had other plans. He would bother my heart all the time until I attended another service. Then another. And another. I saw my life change for the better. I began to see my prayer life grow stronger. I felt my heart change and I finally learned-You do not have to accept wondering if you are good enough. Spending your days recounting every sin you have committed. I know, that I know that I know, I am saved and secure in the Lord. The first time someone (a family member) called me a Bible Thumper, was the best compliment I ever received. Thankful to God for his grace and mercy toward someone as unworthy as I.
ANNA REEVES