Try to tell about the circumstances from their point of view. This isn’t a way to excuse a wrongdoing or a virtual voodoo doll to make them suddenly have a change of heart, this is a way to help you come to terms with the emotions that you carry around. This process is to help heal your mind and spirit, not fix something that is beyond your control. In Journal to the Self by Kathleen Adams, she states that “The purpose of the letter isn’t to communicate to [the other person] how you’re feeling. You’re writing this for yourself, to help you resolve your own feelings.” Haven’t we all felt the need to be heard? Pouring out those raw emotions onto a piece of paper fulfills that need, even though the letter will never be sent. Another thing to keep in mind - one attempt may not be enough. It may take several letters to get all that you wish to convey out of your system. That’s normal. There is one more letter that I would suggest writing for your emotional well-being. When King David was dealing with grief or fear or elation, he wrote about it. Some of the Psalms recorded are letters he wrote to God. For example, Psalms 10, 13, 22, 30, 119, 142, and probably the most famous, Psalm 23, all contain direct petitions to his Heavenly Father. Unless he had an angelic delivery service that we don’t know about, those letters probably never left Earth. Yet the effects were, and still are, the same. Powerful! David gained the same things from writing them as you and I do from reading them - comfort, support, celebration, and strength. Many people have shared heart-breaking stories about God not answering their prayers for healing or improved circumstances and how those disappointments have led to doubt, which hurts their relationship with God. Pent-up negative emotions can make you a prisoner to grief, bitterness, even unforgiveness toward others, yourself and even God. How would writing a letter to God help? Writing helps you express all of the emotions that have been ruminating in your mind. When you do this, the dynamics of the relationship will change because you will see God, or the circumstances, through a different lens - a clear mind. For me, writing to God has added a unique dynamic to our relationship, a different level of communication that could not be accomplished through any other means, not even prayer.
As odd as it may sound, it can do the same for you. After all, He has already set the example for us to follow by using both verbal and written communication.
Dear You,
I know we haven’t spoken in a long time (unless you count the article you just read), but I didn’t want another day to pass without letting you know how I feel. Dealing with trauma and past hurts often seems scary. I know. I’ve been there. Life doesn’t play fair. Thank God for the hope He has given us. One day, all of this conflict and misunderstanding will be settled with care, honesty and forgiveness. That day is now. We are called to do that here until the Lord returns. Hopefully, you will find the letter writing process one that helps with that task. Be encouraged, He is with us through it all, even pouring out your heart onto a piece of paper. He guided David, right? He’ll guide you, too. You can do it. I have faith in you. I’m proud of you, my friend.
Yours in Christ,
Jamie
Adams, K. (1990). Journal to the self: 22 paths to personal growth. New York, NY: Warner Books.
Frogge, S. (2012). Expressing Your Grief. Retrieved May 16, 2016, from http://www.taps.org/magazine/article.aspx?id=7105