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The Single Mom ’ s Club by Karen
TEAM TALK
7 survival tips for single parents
Raising a child is like an ocean voyage – full of raging storms , rough waves , and occasional sunny tranquillity . It ' s hard enough with a partner , but when you ' re doing it alone , the difficulty rises to a whole new level .
Yet parents all over the world are successfully and joyfully raising children by themselves . Just because you ' re steering a one-person kayak rather than a two-person canoe doesn ' t mean you can ' t handily navigate the tumultuous waters of parenthood . These tips can help smooth your journey .
Take care of yourself
While a trip to a luxury spa would certainly be nice , self-care in the early days of parenting is more about paying attention to your basic needs . These are all too easy to neglect , especially if you don ' t have a partner to spell you . " I had to pay attention to make sure I was even eating enough ," says Rachel Sarah , author of the book and blog Single Mom Seeking . " I also learned the importance of getting enough sleep , which meant forgoing a lot of chores . My place was a mess , but I just had to let that go ." Sarah also incorporated small chunks of exercise into her life whenever she could . Instead of driving to the grocery store , she ' d plop the baby in the stroller and walk .
Join forces
Being the lone mom or dad on a playground full of parenting couples every Saturday morning can get old pretty fast , as can being stuck at home every evening with only your colicky baby for company . Finding moms and dads in similar situations can be a lifesaver . " My friend ' s husband worked late , and the two of us would get together for dinner . Sometimes both our babies would be crying , but at least we were going through the witching hour together ," says Sarah .
Build a community
A strong community can provide emotional support and a sense of belonging – the perfect antidote to the isolation brought on by solo parenting . Don ' t just focus on other single parents . The more varied your community , the richer it will be . " Having a diverse social circle is very important ," says Alexandra Soiseth , author of Choosing You : Deciding to Have a Baby On My Own . If you ' re on the introverted side , building a community can be tough . You may need to push yourself into social situations . For example , join a church or synagogue , find structured playgroups , or attend weekly story time at your local library . And remember , meeting new people gets easier with practice . " I used to be a lot shier ," says Sarah . " At first , I was ashamed to even tell people that I was a single mom . But I had to get out of that rut . I had to become more social out of pure necessity ."
Accept help
For some , this is easier said than done . " Sometimes I feel like I don ' t deserve to feel overwhelmed , since I chose to become a single mother ," says Soiseth . " But I try to remember that this doesn ' t change the fact that I need help ."
Soiseth was so overwhelmed in those first sleep-deprived weeks with her daughter that four days into her parents ' visit , she delegated all the laundry and cooking to them . As she discovered , babies have a magical way of bringing people closer . " My relationship with my parents has grown so much ," says Soiseth .
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