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THE BAY TALKS
How to pursue a Godly Woman
Below are 3 very important things to consider…
1. Prepare Your Heart
As you take a good, long, contemplative look at your heart, what things do you see need addressing before you begin
to offer your heart to, and join your heart with, someone else's heart? Albert Mohler has written a phenomenal piece
on marks of maturity for young men. I wish I'd had such a list when I was in my 20s. A good relationship will require
from you a willingness to be authentic, someone who is comfortable in his own skin, who receives his masculine
identity from Christ, not from the woman he hopes to marry.
So spend some time with God and ask Him to show you what needs to happen in your heart before you move for-
ward. Ask Him to reveal to you where, if anywhere, you are lacking in maturity, either spiritually, socially or emotion-
ally, and pray for His help to grow you up in those areas. For me this initially came through a little book by the late Ed
Cole called Courage. It was just the proverbial kick in the seat I needed as a 20-year-old man. Among other things, it
challenged me to read a chapter of Proverbs every day, a habit that had a profound impact on my maturity, and one I
continue 22 years later.
2. Build your framework now for what you want your dating to look like.
No matter who God has for you, you can decide right now how the process of getting to know her will play out. What
spiritual disciplines, physical standards, meaningful activities, conversations, fun stuff, will you incorporate into your
season of dating? Remember, that season is pre-marriage, and the habits you develop then will be the habits of your
marriage relationship. Develop great dating habits, and you'll have a great foundation upon which to build a vibrant
marriage.
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