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Where Is He?
Now that you ' re ready to meet Mr. Right, how do you find him? He could be at your PTA meeting, in the supermarket, on the sidelines of your kid ' s soccer game, or in the bookstore-- but you ' ll never know if you don ' t approach him. Though it sounds totally retro, " men like to feel needed," says Jill Spiegel, author of The Flirtologist ' s Guide to Dating. Ask him for help reaching cereal on the top shelf or whether he knows the score of the game. If he ' s interested, he ' ll keep the conversation going.
With kids at home, you need to be extra careful about the kind of person you let into your life( even if it ' s just a date). The best route of all is to let people know you ' re interested in being fixed up. And don ' t ask just your closest friends-- tell your paediatrician, your yoga teacher, or even the person who cuts your hair.
Who ' s Your Daddy?
It would be great to find a father figure for your child, but not every guy you date is qualified to play that role. Never introduce your child to anyone on the first date, even if you ' re excited about his potential-- it will only compromise her sense of security.
" It ' s important to tell your child the truth about your social life, but give her a version she can understand and that won ' t worry her," says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle. Tell her you ' re going to see a new friend or you ' re going out to dinner. At the beginning, that ' s really all you ' re doing. You might hope it ' ll turn into something more, but don ' t get your kids wrapped up in that until it happens. Once you ' ve been steadily dating someone for at least three months, and you feel he has staying power, you can consider introducing him to your child, says McKenna. Arrange for him to join you at the bowling alley or at your picnic in the park so he doesn ' t feel like it ' s all about him. And if it doesn ' t go well, he can make a graceful exit.
Yes, YES, YES!
It ' s only natural to worry that no one wants to date a mom, but you need to pump up your positivity. Think about it: Your married friends are surely jealous and dying to hear every detail of your swingin ' single life, a " call from the babysitter " is the perfect excuse to bail on a dreadful date, and no matter whom you go out with, you ' ll always come home to someone who loves you unconditionally. Who cares if McDreamy never calls you again? Your kids are calling you from the living room, and they think you rock.
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