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THE BAY TALKS
21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today
1 . He stands when she walks in the room In the old days , men stood out of respect when a lady , dignitary , or elderly person walked in the room . It was a sign of respect and humbleness . Today , men stand out of courtesy when a guest visits a meeting . A gentleman will stand from his table when he ’ s introduced to a guest . Who stays seated when a friend walks into a restaurant , bar , or their place anyhow ? Standing shows you are attentive and you care .
2 . He walks by her on the outside , closest to the street Why is the top coat symbolic of the gentleman ? Before our drainage systems , a man stood on the outside of the sidewalk in a long coat to protect her from the dust and sewage that could splash up as horse carriages passed by . Sewage was common in the streets . The picture of the man laying his coat over a puddle for her to walk over meant he was protecting her feet from fecal material more than rain water .
Today , a gentleman might stand in the way of puddles splashing up from buses , or in the event a car veers onto the sidewalk . Symbolically it might mean he ’ ll always be by her side , through thick and thin , and will protect her from anything .
3 . He opens the door for her A gentleman would help her up into the carriage as a sign of his protection and strength . Women would hold their dresses up as they were often long and heavy . The gentleman opened the door for her so she wouldn ’ t have to drop her dress in the dirt .
The modern gentleman helps her in and out of the car to stand in the way of creepy gawkers . Opening a door for her is not a sign she is weak , but a gesture of affection .
4 . He never criticizes a home-made meal An out-loud criticism of a meal as a guest was considered disrespectful to the host . If anyone takes the time and effort to make a dinner , they are your host . Honor them . Smile and chew .
5 . He doesn ’ t LOL for the sake of attention “ Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill-manners …” Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman ( 1746 ). He might write an “ LOL ” over text in the present , but a gentleman doesn ’ t have to be loud to command attention . He commands attention through his strong character .
6 . He pulls out her chair It was common for the gentleman to pull out her chair and allow her to face the open room . Today , the gentleman pulls out her seat , and sits facing away from the crowd and the TV because he doesn ’ t want to be distracted from his priority when he forgets to take his Ritalin .
7 . He sits after she sits “… and at the table wait until she is seated , indeed wait until every lady is seated , before taking your own place ” The Gentlemen ’ s Book of Etiquette , and Manual of Politeness ( 1860 ). Talk show hosts continue this tradition today by waiting to sit until after their guest has taken their seat . If Oprah does it , so can you . She ’ s your guest . Allow her to sit first .
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