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THE BAY TALKS
The Gentlemen’s Club
Tips for being a Godly Husband
God's purpose for marriage is to make us more like Christ.
I know there are many men today who are trying to figure out exactly what God expects of them as husbands.
So I came up with a list of the things I believe are central to being a godly husband.
Be a Spiritual Leader
Your wife probably came into the marriage with some idealized image of the 2 of you beginning each day around
the breakfast table with some fresh-squeezed orange juice, doing devotions together. She imagined you leaving
for work and saying, "I'll be back this evening, and we can have devotions again."
About a month into the marriage, your wife was probably thinking, What happened? Reading the Scriptures and
praying together is so important. If I could rewind my marriage and start that practice earlier, I would do it in a
second. No matter how long you've been married, now is the time to develop a pattern that can work in your
marriage. Remember, it's a husband who ought to initiate this.
"A man may not be a vocational theologian," says Doug Wilson, author of Reforming Marriage. "But in his home,
he needs to be the resident theologian."
Lead With Humility
The reason there is such a debate about whether men ought to be leaders in a marriage relationship is because
too many men have not led with humility. Men may be called by God to lead their wives, but our leadership
should be selfless. Philippians 2:3 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility con-
sider others better than yourselves" (New International Version).
Put this verse into practice, and it will solve 95 percent of the issues you face. I have never met a woman who
says, "I resist my husband's leadership even though he is very humble and Christlike." The women I've met are
craving godly leadership in their marriages.
Be a Godly, Courageous Man
First Corinthians 16:13 gives a clear definition of biblical masculinity: "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith;
be men of courage; be strong". Before we can be godly husbands, we must be men of courage. Wrapped up in
that definition of what it means to be a man is the idea of courage. And the essence of courage is to have such a
great fear of God that you fear nothing else.
Be a Provider
The husband should bear the primary responsibility for the financial needs of the home. In fact, 1 Timothy 5:8
says if a man fails to provide for his household, he is worse than a pagan. That's not the kind of reputation I
want to have in the community. Part of the root meaning for the word provider means "to look ahead." A pro-
vider is one who anticipates and does the strategic planning for the household. He thinks about the goals. Not
just the financial goals, but the spiritual goals and emotional goals. In a sense, he is chief executive officer of the
corporation. It's his responsibility to set the direction. And many times his wife is the chief operating officer.
The 2 of them need to unify their direction for the good of the family.
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