sweet auburn | 2020 volume ii was , Michael would say in a warm gregarious manner , “ There he / she is !!” To be honest , sometimes I felt embarrassed when Michael would shine such attention on me as I entered a space . But I knew in my heart that this sort of hello was meant with deep affection and love for me and for all of those lucky enough to be his friends .
As we waved our goodbyes that spring afternoon after a short chat , Michael reminded me that at the start of the new year we had planned to get together and listen to some of his old DJ mixes ; he said he even had some new mixes that he thought I would like .
Imagine my shock at hearing just three weeks later that Michael was hospitalized and battling COVID-19 . When Chris and Darren of Satigata reached out to deliver the sad news that Michael had died of COVID-related complications on April 9th , I couldn ’ t wrap my head around it . I had just seen him three weeks before — what felt like yesterday — looking fit and happy as we walked around Willow Pond . And we had plans : we were going to listen to DJ mixtapes !
I now know that Michael had quite a bit of suffering over the last couple of years , but when I saw him he was always glowing with that big smile ; even his eyes were always smiling . So many of us have pensive , dark moments of brooding , and I am sure Michael had those as well . But when he was out in the world his whole being seemed to be exclaiming “ I love life !” and “ Isn ’ t it wonderful !?”
There are some lines by poet Rainer Maria Rilke that I always think of , about being the “ bees of the invisible and having the task of taking this temporary time into us and making it a part of us .” The poem is about existence with a capital E , but I think it also is relevant to us , taking the essence of someone we love into our hearts and making them a part of who we are . I now walk with Michael on a fairly regular basis .
A moment ago , a friend presented me with a gift . It wasn ’ t wrapped in fancy papers or ribbons , He couldn ’ t hand it to me because it had no structure or shape , But I received it with appreciation and an open heart .
What it contained were things he felt I needed , Like kindness , compassion , and love , The ability to relate and connect with others And gratitude for just being able to be present .
Stay with me in this moment , Focus on the silence and the sounds of now , Acknowledge and embrace each thought and feeling Sense and experience them all .
For that one moment performed its mission And now , as I reflect on that moment , I was grateful for his thoughtfulness and caring , His empathy for my struggles and pain , His love and concern for my comfort .
Those gifts are now part of my essence . And he only stayed for a moment .
At Willow Pond , March 18 , 2020
Michael Miceli , Spoken Word in Home Find Me by Satigata
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