Street Peeper Zimbabwe Street Peeper Bridal Issue 2017 | Page 7

Reconciling who you want to include in your
bridal party with who you're expected, re-
quested, or even told to include can seem like
an ordeal. With friends and family anticipating
or assuming they'll be asked, it's easy to get
confused and resentful. After all, this is sup-
posed to be your day, your way, right? Relax.
Choosing your attendants needn't be a night-
mare. Prioritizing what's important is the key
to arriving at a list that pleases everyone—
even you.
Choices, Choices
The most obvious question is how many at-
tendants to ask and who should be your
maid/matron of honor. While etiquette books
suggest one usher per 50 guests, protocol
surrounding the number of bridesmaids is
fuzzier (12, however, is the limit). "What's
important is that you include those people to
whom you feel closest. Also consider where
you'll be standing at the altar or huppah, and
how many people can fit on either side of you.
Aesthetically, the same number of attendants
on both sides looks best, but there is no rule
that says they have to match.
Start by writing your wish list of attendants.
Next, add your fiancé's picks, and those who
would make political sense (your brother's
wife to make him happy, for example). See if
there are natural groupings that would make
choosing easier: all sisters, all school friends,
just one sister and one friend, etc. If your list
is still unwieldy, consider the following to
help you eliminate people or decide their role.
First, think about their responsibilities. The
maid/matron of honor is generally the bride's
right-hand woman before and on the day of
the wedding. Her main duties include plan-
ning the bridal shower and helping the bride
select her gown and address invitations.
herself with friends and needs a sounding
board for every decision, or do you have only
one or two close confidantes?
Do you expect your attendants to devote a
significant amount of time and money to your
wedding? Would you feel comforted knowing
that all of your bridesmaids lived in town,
mere minutes away for minor emergencies? If
someone says she can't afford to participate,
can you make up the difference (and not take
it personally)? Be honest with yourself: Are
your expectations reasonable? Will you get
mad if someone can't help out as much as
you'd like due to her work or family commit-
ments?
Third, factor in the lifestyle and current situa-
tion of those you intend to ask, and how it
meshes or clashes with their responsibilities
and your needs. For example, what if your
sister lives in Bulawayo and your best friend
just lost her job, or if another friend is so
swamped with work or a new baby that she
barely squeezes in a phone call, much less
time to plan a bridal bash. All these circum-
stances impact a potential maid's ability to do
the best job possible. That said, even if some-
one can't b e there physically, she may still
provide valuable moral support. So decide
what's most important to you.
Popping the Question
Now the fun part—asking people to be in your
party. Some brides try to avoid disappointing
anyone by asking people they don't really
want to participate, assuming they'll say no
because they're too busy or won't be able to
afford it. Big mistake: This approach can easily
backfire. Some people are so honored to be
included that they'll move the world to make
it happen. Only ask those you'll be thrilled to
hear a "yes" from. If there's someone you
The bridesmaids assist the maid/matron of
want to ask but are concerned she'll feel pres-
honor and bride. All typically pay for their
sured by time or money constraints, create a
own dresses and travel expenses. Second,
scenario in which each of you would feel com-
evaluate your needs and expectations. Is this a fortable backing out gracefully. Let her know
gala affair with many details you'll need help
she's one of your top choices but you under-
coordinating, or a small, no-fuss ceremony?
stand if she has other commitments that make
Are you the type of person who surrounds
it difficult for her to take part.
Choosing
The right team!