SMILE LINES (with thanks to St Augustine’s Dumbarton)
At the Pearly Gates, St Peter greeted a minister and a member of parliament
and gave them their room keys. “Vicar,
here are the keys to one of the nicest
single rooms. And for you, Mr MP, the
keys to our finest penthouse suite.”
The vicar began to protest that this was
unfair. “Listen,” St Peter said,
“ministers are ten to a penny up here,
but this is the first MP we’ve ever
seen”.
______________
A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave
during the middle of
his message. The
man returned just
before the conclusion
of the service.
Afterwards the pastor
asked the man where
he had gone. “I went
to get a haircut”, was
the reply.
“But,” said the pastor,
”why didn’t you do
that before the
service?”
“Because,” the gentleman said, “I didn’t need one then.”
______________
An exasperated mother, whose
son was always getting into
mischief, finally asked him, “How
do you expect to get into
Heaven?” The boy thought it
over and said ”Well, I’ll just run
in and out and in and out and
keep slamming the door until St
Peter says ‘for Heaven’s sake,
Dylan, come in or stay out!’
_______________
StOM Page 9