Starved | Page 47

picture extremely thin models are not considered praiseworthy materiaL Make a list of the things you watch, read, and listen to that you recognize are distractions from your primary focus. Be encouraged! As you begin to put your focus on God and His love for you, the struggles, torment, and bondage of the eating disorder will seem to fade away. Develop Godly Routines Eating disorders can be very ritualistic by nature. You may have formed unhealthy patterns and habits related to an eating disorder without even realizing it. Replacing your distorted thoughts with God's truth is very important, but it is equally important to replace your old eating disorder patterns with new godly routines. I always ate alone. If I was with someone, I didn't want to talk or carry on a conversation,just focus on staying in control. All I want is for a meal to be just that---a meal. I want a meal to be about the people I am with, not thefood I am eating. I started slowly, by eating with someone I trusted and playing a word game. Once I became comfortable with that, we tried to have actual conversations; then eventually I could eat around more people. It is a slow process, but I know what my goal is, and I am working toward it. -Allie, personal journal entry The first step is identifying your unhealthy routines or patterns. Some bad habits may seem so normal to you that an outside perspective from someone you trust may be needed to 51