As for the formalities on dates, it’s a good
thing that your date feels different than
hanging out. It’s important that you and
your date focus attention on each other;
that’s how you get to know one another
better. But you can choose how formal
you want your date to be. If like me you
don’t like waiting for a man to open your
car door, do it yourself. If it’s important to
you that he does, wait for him to do it. If
the formalities really bother you, try to go
on dates outside of school dances, as
those tend to be more over-the-top with
dating rituals.
What if I don’t have enough money to
go on dates?
Dates don’t have to cost money. Look on
the next page for some cheap and free
group date ideas. The point of your date is
to get to know someone, not to go broke.
For more expensive dates like school
dances, find ways to save money. Swap
dresses with your friends instead of buying a new one. Rent a dress. Make your
own like I did one year (it was simple, but I
loved it because I made it). Ask your
grandma if you can cut flowers from her
garden. For one of my dances, someone’s
older sister took our photos in a nearby
park, and they turned out much prettier
than my other backdrop dance pictures.
Or you can choose to skip some of these
traditions and just have some fun in your
nicest Sunday dress and best smile. Start
a new tradition.
I had a bad experience, or my friend
did. I don’t want to get hurt.
No one, male or female, deserves to be
hurt, but most of us do end up with minor
hurt feelings at some point.Surround yourself with kind people. Don’t put up with
anyone toying with your feelings. Realize,
though, that we are all human and even
nice people make mistakes.
“In a dating and courtship relationship, I would not have you
spend five minutes with someone who belittles you, who is constantly critical of you, who is
cruel at your expense and may
even call it humor.”
Jeffrey R. Holland
Take your time and choose your dates
wisely. Make sure to apologize when you
are in the wrong, as well.
If you or your friend were hurt in a more serious way, though, you should tell your parents, principal, church leaders, or any
trusted adult. Tell them if you or someone
else was physically hurt, forced to do
something they didn’t want to do, or verbally bullied with name calling and the like.
You should always speak up if behavior
that makes you uncomfortable is happening to anyone. It may be scary, but in the
long-term it will be better for everyone.
Keep looking forward.
At this age, your job isn’t to find Prince
Charming, it’s to learn how to be a good
friend and human being. You may have
heard this before, but it bears repeating:
high school is only the beginning. After
graduation, you will have the opportunity
to meet tons of new people and learn
many new things. You’re just learning how
to ride the dating bicycle, so try to keep an
open mind and a sense of humor. Pray for
Heavenly Father’s guidance and you’ll
make it through.
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