The Four Gs
The Four Gs are peacemaking principles that can help us respond to conflict that is glorifying to God and different from how the world deals with conflict. Conflict should not be an excuse to blame God, but rather to glorify God and provide opportunities for us to grow to be like Christ.
Glorify God
In this conflict, Chandler and his wife could glorify God by trusting Him, obeying Him, and imitating Him. Trust in the Lord by continuing to pray about the money situation and asking God to provide. If Chandler really feels that God wants him to just wait and see what God will do, Chandler should obey what God is telling him. While waiting to see what happens, Chandler and his wife should continue to ask themselves, “How can I please and honor the Lord in this situation?" which would remind them to imitate what God would do.
Get the log out of your eye
This particular conflict of money is not really an opposing force against Chandler and his wife, but Chandler’s and his wife’s responses to this conflict might be in disagreement. In order for Chandler and his wife to get the log out of their own eyes, they should talk with each other about the different responses and have a respectful attitude toward each others’ response. Getting the log out of your eye also means getting rid of your bad attitude. Chandler should not be angry or disrespect his wife’s response of asking for help.
Gently Restore
Since this conflict does not have an opposing force against Chandler and his wife, this principle does not apply to restoring money with Chandler and his wife. However, this principle could apply to restoring the dispute between Chandler and his wife or between God and the couple. Chandler and his wife could restore the dispute each other by understanding each others’ response. They could trust in each other and ultimately trust in God that God will provide for them. Maybe this money problem made Chandler and his wife upset with God because He has not provided for them yet, so this principle will remind them to restore the relationship with God and keep building on their trust in God.
Go and be reconciled
This principle is to remind Christians to pursue genuine forgiveness and reconciliation. We should forgive others as the Lord forgave us, not only because the Lord is good, but by His grace, we were forgiven by the blood of Jesus. This money situation might make Chandler and his wife upset at the people who are unable to give financial support, so this principle would remind Chandler and his wife to not be upset at them, but genuinely forgive them and do not hold this against them. However, we cannot fully accomplish forgiveness on our own. We need to continually ask God to give us the grace to imitate how He forgives.
The Slippery Slope
The slippery slope of conflict is how people react to conflict. They either fall into the Escape Response, Peacemaking Response, or Attack Response category. The most extreme Escape Response is suicide. The most extreme Attack Response is murder. The Peacemaking Responses can be divided into two categories: personal peacemaking responses and assisted peacemaking responses.
These are four peacemaking responses (two from each) of the six
Personal (just between you and the other party):
Overlook an Offense
Sometimes there are complications that are so insignificant that they should be solved by overlooking an offense. In this conflict, again, there is not offending force against Chandler and his wife. However, the dispute between Chandler and his wife should not be a big problem and should not be an obstacle to the bigger picture of getting enough money. They should settle their dispute by overlooking and accepting each others’ responses and keep praying and trusting God will provide.
Negotiation
Even though relationship issues are solved, there still might be material issues. The negotiation should reach a settlement that can satisfy the legitimate needs of each side. Chandler and his wife would negotiate about how they would get enough money in the limited amount of time. Maybe they could come up with following Chandler’s response by leaving it up to God until maybe a month before the deadline and if they do not have all the money by then, they will follow out Chandler’s wife’s response and ask Chandler’s family for the rest of the money.
Assisted (when a dispute cannot be solved personally, God calls us to seek help from other believers):
Mediation
If two parties cannot reach to an agreement in private, they should ask one or more outside people to meet with them to help communicate better and explore possible outcomes. The outside people can ask questions and give advice, but the final decision comes down to the two parties. Chandler and his wife could ask another fellow believer from the family to see how they can solve their money issue.
Arbitration
If two parties cannot come to a voluntary final decision, one or two arbitrators could be appointed to listen to both sides of the story and make the decision for the parties that both parties will follow. Chandler and his wife could ask a believer from the family to help make the decision for them, either to trust God to the last minute, or ask Chandler’s family for the rest of the money.
solutions.solutions.solutions.solutions.solutions.solutions.solutions.solutions.
7