6
Going to my laptop, I don't always know what I am going to write about. I sit and start typing with all the thoughts that have been twirling around my heart and head, perched on the ledge of voice and see what takes flight. It has been awhile since my last post and I'm back feeling like a teenager on my first date. "What do I say?" "What am I doing?" "Who am I?"
I laugh as I silently volley through a conversation between my heart and my mind. My mind is always second-guessing, analyzing, worrying and stressing. My heart knowingly smirks and says, "Slow down, kid, you should know how this goes by now." Seriously, does this make me crazy? I have these conversations daily. My heart usually prevails. It's so hysterically amazing and seriously awesome how a person can encompass two wholes becoming one -- heart and mind.
Many times, people are faced with struggles when the heart and mind are on different paths, not seeing eye-to-eye (that just made me laugh, because they don't have eyes!).
During those times, strategically-placed dilemmas wonderfully take shape in our life, just as everything seems to be going smoothly (or so we think). Looking back, these have always been the moments that have radically moved me in a different direction -- and thankfully so -- though those issues/decisions always seem to be the hardest.
Asking "Who Am I?" for so many years and truly trying to understand myself and how I operate, I feel that I have come to be quite the expert on ME!
Be
I find that most times, I am in peace because my mind listens to my heart and resonates the energy, thoughts and feelings of my song. They are in tune! When they are not, I just "Let it Be!" Making no choice, no decision and not worrying is a decision in itself, and life has a course that doesn't always need a hard left or right.
Tonight, Down syndrome, decisions and dancing are on my mind.
Nine months ago, Ryan and I brought Michael into our life. He was born with Down syndrome, which had gone undetected.
I am blessed for this missed diagnosis for so many reasons. If we had known, we would have had lengthy conversations weighing pros and cons to moving forward... or not, and then ultimately stressing throughout the rest of the pregnancy about whether we were up for the "job" and "could we handle it?"
It makes me sad to even admit that. To admit that yes, there would've been a conversation. Here is why: What I thought I knew about Down syndrome was nothing compared to what Down syndrome IS. A decision would have been based on tests that could be wrong, knowledge of this syndrome taken from a book with health and developmental delays on a vast spectrum and a view that society has bestowed upon us all of having the "perfect" family. I am thrilled to say that society is welcoming a season of change regarding how people with Down syndrome are viewed.
Three years ago Danielle, a very dear friend of mine for the past 29 years, announced she was having a third son.
By: Christi Guthrie
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