This illustrates a more general rule of thumb. If something is making you feel miserable – and this includes anything technology-related – then think about whether you really need it in your life. It can be liberating to ditch the baby apps or parenting books. While other parents you know may find something really helpful, if it is making you anxious or worried, this is a sign that it is probably not right for you. We can blame ourselves when something we’ve tried doesn’t work out, instead of thinking that that option just doesn’t suit our family and way of life. After all, you don’t criticise your feet if a pair of shoes don’t fit them. You find a pair of shoes that do.
The shoe metaphor can be extended to mothering in general. The ‘supermum’ shoes are an illusion and spending time seeking them out could leave you feeling very low. You need to find the shoes that you feel comfortable in. There are many different styles around – a prospect both exhilarating and terrifying – but when you have figured out which ones are best for you, you should find the path of motherhood easier to walk down.
Support for crying and feeding
Hearing your baby cry can be one of the hardest parts of motherhood and if your baby cries inconsolably it can be particularly challenging. We still don’t really understand what causes colic, but we do know that inconsolable crying in the early weeks is universal and happens regardless of what parents do. Although it may not feel like it, it is not your fault and it will pass. In the meantime it is important that you look after yourself so you can cope with the crying. The charity Cry-sis (www.cry-sis.org.uk) offers help and support for parents of excessively crying, sleepless and demanding babies. Their helpline is open 7 days a week from 9am – 10pm: 08451 228 669
There can be a lot of emotion and anxiety involved in feeding your baby however you are doing this (breast, bottle or mixed). NCT breastfeeding counsellors are trained in helping mothers talk through their feeding experiences and supporting them in the decisions they make. You can speak to a counsellor through the NCT helpline which is open every day from 8am – midnight: 0300 330 0700 (Option 1)