“ I mumble that I have nothing left to give , while I put my socks and shoes back on , over those blisters and tired feet .”
CHALLENGER STORY
D-Day arrived . Whether through bravery or stupidity , there was never a doubt in my mind that I could not do this . Remember do or die , we never surrender . I had so much passion in my heart , and this would be enough to carry me through . I never for a moment , considered the flame would wane and my body would beg to be left in the ashes . I understood in the
challenge and through the months of struggling with the pain , exactly how demoralising the pain day in and day out had been for my late husband . There was such a mental battle trying to live past the physical agony he endured , and I had never stopped to process that until this challenge . I had a new respect for him and even more determination to see this through .
Mistake number one was staying on my feet for almost 24 hours . Sitting only after loop 21 . I believed that if I sat down at any point , I would not get up again . If I rested , I would fall asleep and not make it . I brought a chair , but it stood empty . I was slugging down painkillers because of my hip . I was mentally still winning the challenge up to around loop 19 .
My initial breakdown was not physical , although I was hurting . My breakdown was mental . I endured loop after loop , watching my fellow challengers receive much-needed support from family and friends . Doing loops with them , sharing meals , sharing laughter . I arrived alone . Loop in and out I had no supporters or family , what many take for granted , and that started chipping away at my façade . Being surrounded by all these champions , their families and friends and yet feeling so alone in the world .
I linked in with Rosh and Ilana , and they were my company during many of the loops . Ilana was a great support during the night hours . I must add that the spirit during the challenge was amazing . The challengers were formidable human beings and I got to a point where I questioned what I was doing there amongst these legends , and how I had somehow believed I was ever capable of completing this mammoth feat .
I kept hearing that when the sun came up it would give us the torch to carry us through to the end . Well , the sun came up . My body was beyond any point of normal . The physical agony surpassed all the painkillers . I tried the ice bath which numbed the pain only briefly . I attempted a massage and being beyond the point of dignity , I groaned with the agony .
I had a few dry needles in my hip which gave me amazing relief , but by that time my knees were so swollen I could barely move . I was shattered physically . I was making each loop closer and closer to the full allotted sixty minutes , meaning there was no time to recover . Just keep going .
At one point my legs were strapped to give me quick but temporary solutions to do another loop . Honestly , I salute the Physio team , they gave it everything to try to keep us in the game .
Then it hit . Suddenly , I was alone in my headspace . Loop 19 , loop 20 . Mental conversations . Loop 21 . I was done . I had nothing left . I had given everything . My flame was quenched . I felt like a broken shell with no soul . I spent most of loop 21 resigned to the fact that I had failed . I had failed myself . I had failed my husband . I just did not have what it takes .
I had reached a point where I did not even care that I only had to get through three more loops . My tank was empty . There was nothing left in me to give . I wobbled my way back to the barracks , struggled up the stairs and rang the bell . When the bell goes there is a hype as to who and
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