Solutions October 2019 | Page 33

When you’re eleven years old and a friend dares you to do something cool but dangerous, it’s hard to say no, even when your head says it’s dumb and you can feel in your bones that it’s a bad idea. That’s how I ended up trying to cross the muddy harbor near my home, on foot, at low tide. I’d never seen anybody else do it, and within the first ten steps I knew why. The thick mud and sludge clung to my limbs like cement. The further we went, the worse it got. We just kept going, of course. But by the time we were about a third of the way out, we were stuck. Really stuck. We were chest deep in black, stinking clay, slime, and mud, and we were exhausted. Each time we tried to move we got dragged down further, and I felt that awful sense of panic you get when you realize that you are into something beyond your control. Thankfully, two things happened. First, I found out that if I wriggled and extracted one limb at a time, then tried to “swim” on the surface, I could claw my way forward just a little. So we turned around and, inch by inch, made our way back. The second thing was that someone on the shore spotted us and called the lifeboat. Now I knew we were in trouble— whether we made it out or not. We sped up, and as soon as we made it to the shore—only moments before the lifeboat crew launched—we split and ran home, both looking like monsters from the deep. Of course my mother found out about it all and sent me around to the coxswain of the lifeboat’s house to apologize in person as well as offer myself to do chores for the crew in penance. It was a good lesson that has served me well in so many survival situations: our decisions have consequences, so don’t embark on any adventures without a solid back-up plan, and don’t be egged on by others when your instincts tell you something is a bad idea. It’s called life wisdom. The smart person learns from it or, even better, learns it from others. Sadly, it wasn’t the last time I messed up big time or had to stumble home covered in dirt. But that’s all of our journey in life: we do stuff that is often not so smart, we get beat up by the experience, and then we stumble home, hoping to get mended and promising to be wiser next time around. When we have unchecked, unbridled power and energy, with no sense of which way to go, it can lead us on paths that bog us down and harm us. It is so tempting to want to write our own rulebook and follow our own appetites in life, but it is actually, and ironically, a surefire way to erode your natural power and influence. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to ask questions of authority, and it’s important to take risks, but unless we learn to harness and correctly channel our desire for independence, we can often find ourselves in trouble. Conversely, when we harness and direct Solutions • 33