Solutions October 2017 | Page 51

“if they really knew who I was or what I thought, then they wouldn’t ________.” And that fill-in-the-blank is where most of us stay stuck. We struggle with feeling as though we won’t be loved or accepted if we take off our masks. The irony? When you do, in most cases you are more loved and accepted than you ever imagined possible. Q: What role did shame play in your struggle to find your authentic self, and how did you finally rise above it? A: Wow. That’s a loaded question that I think the book answers a bit better than I can in just a few sentences here. But, simply I believe this: shame and joy cannot live peacefully together in your thoughts about yourself. Shame is a bully that whispers you’re never enough or worthy of the life you long to life… ultimately of the life that’s filled with joy. Yet, in order to experience true joy, find your authentic self, and be set free from debilitating thoughts… you must evict shame. Listen. If it comes down to being full of joy versus being full of shame, who wouldn’t want the first? One of them has to go! cares of this world. My self-hatred and self-shaming talk came from the moments I would rush into try and make it all better or create a counterfeit joy. I cannot express enough the importance of PAUSING in the middle of your day and re- focusing on the good and not the bad, embrace thoughts that are noble, not shaming. There’s something about taking a giant breath in and defying the hurried pace that worry brings. It resets when you feel that heaviness. It offers a chance to get out from under your thoughts and think differently about the reality of a situation or to recognize the truth about your self. Q: So, what does the future hold for “Chewbacca Mom”? Tell us a bit about your plans for the future. A: Well, I am speaking and writing a ton nowadays. But, really? The sky is the limit for what’s next. I have dreams I have still yet seen come true. I have desires for good things for my family and friends that I want to see come true as well. But, ultimately, I am continuing to walk through open doors and take it a day and project at a time, all the while (hopefully) bringing fun, hope, and joy wherever Q: Can you share with us briefly one of the things people can do when life I may land. weighs down heavily upon them? A: I have to PAUSE. Most of my ill thought decisions came from a mind that was heavy with legitimate Solutions 51