“if they really knew who I was or
what I thought, then they wouldn’t
________.” And that fill-in-the-blank
is where most of us stay stuck. We
struggle with feeling as though we
won’t be loved or accepted if we
take off our masks. The irony? When
you do, in most cases you are more
loved and accepted than you ever
imagined possible.
Q: What role did shame play in your
struggle to find your authentic self,
and how did you finally rise above it?
A: Wow. That’s a loaded question
that I think the book answers a
bit better than I can in just a few
sentences here. But, simply I believe
this: shame and joy cannot live
peacefully together in your thoughts
about yourself. Shame is a bully that
whispers you’re never enough or
worthy of the life you long to life…
ultimately of the life that’s filled with
joy. Yet, in order to experience true
joy, find your authentic self, and be
set free from debilitating thoughts…
you must evict shame. Listen. If it
comes down to being full of joy
versus being full of shame, who
wouldn’t want the first? One of them
has to go!
cares of this world. My self-hatred
and self-shaming talk came from
the moments I would rush into try
and make it all better or create a
counterfeit joy. I cannot express
enough the importance of PAUSING
in the middle of your day and re-
focusing on the good and not
the bad, embrace thoughts that
are noble, not shaming. There’s
something about taking a giant
breath in and defying the hurried
pace that worry brings. It resets when
you feel that heaviness. It offers
a chance to get out from under
your thoughts and think differently
about the reality of a situation or to
recognize the truth about your self.
Q: So, what does the future hold for
“Chewbacca Mom”? Tell us a bit
about your plans for the future.
A: Well, I am speaking and writing
a ton nowadays. But, really? The
sky is the limit for what’s next. I have
dreams I have still yet seen come
true. I have desires for good things for
my family and friends that I want to
see come true as well. But, ultimately,
I am continuing to walk through open
doors and take it a day and project
at a time, all the while (hopefully)
bringing fun, hope, and joy wherever
Q: Can you share with us briefly one
of the things people can do when life I may land.
weighs down heavily upon them?
A: I have to PAUSE. Most of my ill
thought decisions came from a
mind that was heavy with legitimate
Solutions 51