Solutions October 2017 | Page 50

critique. You’ve got to admit…criticism isn’t the easiest thing to receive or hear. Yet, when it’s spoken by someone who loves us and cares for our best, no matter how hurtful, I listen differently. The other sad reality? Often we wound ourselves more than any words spoken by others. We would NEVER talk to a friend the way we sometimes talk to ourselves. And, more often than we are even aware, the offense and hurt done to us by someone else has long lost its’ power…we are the ones who have internalized it and keep picking the scab instead of nursing the wound. I have found a heart that doesn’t get offended so easily is a key to finding healing and true joy. Q: Why do you feel it is so hard for people to take their masks off, to be their authentic selves? You are more loved and accepted than you ever imagined possible. 50 Solutions A: Well, I believe taking off a mask is hard work for anyone. We are conditioned to perform and behave for affection, reward, and promotion. And while that is good in many areas of our lives to be successful and contribute to our communities in ways that help the common good, it can also be damaging if this becomes the norm for how we find our value and worth. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself in friendships and relationships where I felt an unhealthy pressure to be someone or something I am not. How many of us have said to ourselves: