matters and discuss religion from time
to time. This could not be considered a
Life Team relationship or even a close
friend. But when I leave a meeting, I
always feel pretty energized and happy,
and I hope he feels the same way. I
haven’t asked him.
Casuals can be very important
relationships. Casual friends serve
several good purposes for you, and you
for them.
Living in the present. There are three
periods of time: past, present, and
future. We can’t live in the past; we are
only to learn and grow from it. We can’t
live in the future; we can only plan well
for it. God designed us to spend most of
our time living in the present, where we
can engage in life and make important
choices.
Unfortunately, we are an anxious
species. With all of the distractions and
concerns of life, we tend to get lost in
obsessing about yesterday or tomorrow
and miss out on today. We forget to be
present and mindful of the world that
God has given us, right here and right
now.
with a casual and talk about not much
at all and come away feeling that we
are more ourselves. A good casual
friendship helps keep us in balance,
away from too much ruminating on the
past or worrying about the future.
Differences can be good. When our
casuals have different personalities,
opinions, styles, values, and tastes,
we are better off. Our brain craves
experiences that are new and unique
and stretch us. They expand our neural
network, making new connections. We
learn and improve. I have a casual friend
who loves weird music, at least weird to
me. He plays songs from a huge variety
of sources, many from other countries.
It keeps me from pigeonholing myself.
A farm team. Your close friends are
certainly a source for finding Life Team
members. But so are your casuals. Keep
your eyes open when you are with them.
Look for an opportunity to attune to
their lives, and give them an opportunity
to respond to your vulnerabilities.
I have seen people find Life Team
members among their casuals, like a
nugget of gold they discovered that
That also applies to nutrients. Relational they had no idea was there.
nutrients can be trans- ferred only in the
present, not in the past and not in the Initiative. Finally, casuals keep us
future. If you have a vitamin deficiency reaching out. We live in a culture
today, you can’t travel to your past in nowadays in which so many people don’t
a time machine and take nutrients to know their neighbors, the person a few
prevent the deficiency. Nor can you go offices down the hall, or the individual
to the future and take nutrients and next to them in church. Unfortunately,
hope they will be effective retroactively. in our society, we can pretty much
It’s all about the now.
insulate ourselves from ever having to
take initiative to meet new people. With
That is a great advantage of casuals. texting, great internet programming,
They help us to be here and now, in Amazon, and meal delivery, you really
the present. We can watch life go by don’t have to get out of your cocoon.
44 • Solutions