It was a cold winter evening. A dark
and stormy night.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t dark or stormy, but
it was certainly cold.
It was the dead of winter. David Jr. was
only a few months old. We walked in
the house, flipped on the lights, and
nothing happened. I looked at Tam.
Tam looked at me. I closed my eyes
and thought, Oh no, the light bill!
I went outside to see if everyone else’s
lights were off too. I hadn’t paid the
bill—I knew it—but Tam didn’t know
it. So I walked around in shock as
if a power outage had hit our entire
complex. Why do we do that? Why do
we go through the motions of shock by
looking to see if something is wrong
with someone else’s house, knowing
all along our lights are off due to
nonpayment? I’ll tell you why I did it.
I was embarrassed. I felt worthless. I
felt like I was less than a man. I started
beating myself up and saying things
in my head like, What kind of man are
you? You call yourself a man, but you
can’t even keep the bills paid in your own
house? It was a hypersensitive moment
for me. I didn’t know what to do or say
to my wife.
Tam lit a candle and looked at me. I
braced myself for the worst. She turned
toward David Jr. and gently wrapped
up our son in a warm blanket.
Then she said, “We have two options:
we can go to your mom’s house for
the night or we can just go to bed. It’s
already late, and we don’t need any
lights to have a good night’s sleep.” By
the time she walked over to me, I was
weeping on the side of the bed. But
she wrapped her arms around me and
said, “Let’s just go to sleep. We’ll fix it
tomorrow.”
As we lay in the bed with warm blankets
wrapped around us, I thought to myself,
Wow, if she can be this encouraging while
I have her in the dark, just think how she
will treat me when I am able to do better.
As a woman, I know my man. I know
when he’s embarrassed. I know when
he’s ashamed. I know when he’s tired.
I know when he’s angry. That night,
David was already feeling defeated.
It made no sense to belittle him and
make matters worse. I vowed to be
with him through it all, and I vowed
to support him during his low points
as well as his high points. The way I
see it, life will always throw a lot of
unexpected situations our way. I had a
choice. I could make the best of it, or I
could make the worst of it. I chose to
make the best of it.
I never knew what God had in store for
us back then, but today I can say with
humble gratitude that God can do the
impossible if you just trust him. Thirty
years later, David makes sure we have
plenty of lights in the house (way too
many, if you ask me). Thirty years later,
he has made every little wish I’ve ever
had come true. I’m a witness that God
will truly give you the desire of your
heart when you commit to God and
commit to your spouse.
I made a commitment to David, and
there was nothing that could stop my
commitment—no matter what.
The first commitment David and I made
Solutions • 21