A: Anne Lindbergh is one my spiritual
giants. I love to stand on her shoul-
ders and share her relevant thoughts.
She adds to this conversation, “Only
when one is connected to one’s own
core is one connected to others.”
The key here being, “connected.”
With the technical advancements
of our age comes the constant
barrage and unceasing noise of 24/7
newsfeeds, the competitiveness of
our social media society and the
dangerous digital distraction that
never leaves us alone. Suddenly and
subtly, everybody’s business is our
business. Somewhere in the midst of
all of this noise, the volume of our
own voice lessens and lessens, to the
point that we get lost. It all becomes
too much. Yet, this isn’t going away.
We have to learn to navigate the
noise. I do this by practicing rest,
i.e., collecting strength. Hopping on
my bike, riding to a quiet bench by
the water. Turning off the television,
reading a psalm. Digging in the
earth, planting beautiful flowers. In
these moments, I connect with God,
myself and then, am refreshed and
better able to love others.
Q: Your book stresses the importance
of “alone time”—solitude in which we
can address the issues of self-care
and self-preservation. You say that
without those times, you are really no
good to anyone. Would you explain
what you mean?
A: Through this arduous healing
50 Solutions
journey, I’ve learned a valuable
lesson. I can’t do it all, nor have I
been called to do it all. I’ve also
discovered I am highly allergic
to “shoulding” and “shaming”
language. We are really good at
shoulding all over one another. A
kissing cousin to judgment, shoulding
is a heavy burden on its recipient.
You should learn to say no. You
should be at this and that. You should
cal l me more often. You should get
organized. Jesus made it his highest
priority to spend time with his father.
With throngs of people constantly
seeking his help, he slipped away
to seek solitude. He modeled “self-
care,” and “self-preservation,” for
us. He knew he had to connect to
the most important relationship in
his life, collect strength by being in
a quiet place, and attune himself to
his father’s business. If our emotional
and spiritual tanks are empty, how
can we fill others? Without a doubt,
I can tell when I have neglected this
practice. My words are sharper. I
have a shorter fuse. My relationships
suffer. I grumble and complain. And
grace is replaced with shame and
should. Often, I get physically sick.
Q: How can we find solitude in our
busy agendas?
A: Oh, the badge of busy. We wear it
loud and proud. Mine had lights and
bells and whistles. Nothing gave me
more self-satisfaction than wearing
that accolade. Until, I fell apart.