topped the charts.
One minute we’d be
passionately worshiping
the Lord, and the next
we’d be breaking up. We
valued dating more than
discipleship. We allowed
our flesh to govern us more
than the Holy Spirit. We put
more effort into our kissing
techniques than our spiritual
disciplines. We studied
each other more than we
studied God’s Word. And we
drafted creative love letters
while dismissing God’s love
letter to us. Because our
spiritual journeys had a lot of
similarities, we were truly like
the blind leading the blind.
We don’t want that to
happen to you or to those
you may be shepherding. So
we’ve come up with three
words that will encourage
couples to evaluate their
walk with the Lord and
depend on God daily: Assess.
Address. Confess.
Assess
We both realize now that it’s
imperative that everyone
assess their walk with the
Lord. Pastors can help
by offering feedback as
couples share their habits
and struggles. Be real with
14 Solutions
yourself, with those you’re
accountable to, or with those
you’re counseling. Allow the
Lord to speak to your heart
and bring areas of deficiency
to the surface (Psalm 139:23-
24). He’s gonna show you.
Address
Now focus on addressing
those areas God has shown
you. What is lacking?
Develop action steps that will
encourage consistent spiritual
disciplines. Seek ideas for
accountability in pointing
out blind spots (Colossians 3,
Ephesians 5). Spouses should
be that first line of protection,
but it’s helpful when pastors
or leaders are enlisted to call
out matters in love.
Confess
Most of all, seek repentance
for sinful actions toward God
and others. If you’re a pastor
or church leader, establish
a culture of confession and
repentance by sharing some
of your own struggles and
how the Lord helped you
overcome them. Encourage
couples with the truth that
“if we confess our sins, he is
faithful and just to forgive
us our sins and to cleanse
us from all unrighteousness”
(1 John 1:9). The Lord will