Communication Traps : Don ’ t Get Caught !
By Deb DeArmond
6 SMG Solutions
I ’ ve been married 41 years . It seems impossible . And how on earth did we make it , when so many others who loved as deeply as we did failed in and abandoned their commitment to become one ? The odds were not in our favor . Realistically , the deck was stacked against us in many ways .
We were teenagers with no clue whatsoever of what we were saying “ I do ” to . There was much to learn .
And the newlywed learning curve is steep .
Making God the center of our lives was the one thing we knew . Had we not done that , we ’ d have messed it up long ago . The Lord ’ s been faithful all these years . We ’ re still best friends and deeply in love .
Recently , in a conversation with a new friend , he asked whether Ron and I still find things to fight about .
Uh , yes . We ’ re two strongly opinioned individuals who have no difficulty expressing our perspective .
He felt better instantly . “ Oh good ,” he replied . I ’ m not sure I ’ d ever believe someone who said , “ Of course not . All over long ago .”
“ Fight ” might be a loaded word for some . Conflict . Disagreement . Dust up . Or as we say , “ an intense moment of fellowship .” Whichever term you prefer , it means there ’ s a difference of opinion and lack of agreement . God ’ s word helps us understand the importance of agreement in Matthew 18:19 “ I promise that when any two of you on earth agree about something you are praying for , my Father in heaven will do it for you ” ( CEV ).
Since agreement is a powerful place to live , it ’ s essential to work together to find our way back when we ’ ve wandered .
So as my friend and I continued to chat , he recalled his very first fight with his wife . “ We were married a short time , and I can ’ t