Communication Traps: Don’ t Get Caught!
By Deb DeArmond
6 SMG Solutions
I’ ve been married 41 years. It seems impossible. And how on earth did we make it, when so many others who loved as deeply as we did failed in and abandoned their commitment to become one? The odds were not in our favor. Realistically, the deck was stacked against us in many ways.
We were teenagers with no clue whatsoever of what we were saying“ I do” to. There was much to learn.
And the newlywed learning curve is steep.
Making God the center of our lives was the one thing we knew. Had we not done that, we’ d have messed it up long ago. The Lord’ s been faithful all these years. We’ re still best friends and deeply in love.
Recently, in a conversation with a new friend, he asked whether Ron and I still find things to fight about.
Uh, yes. We’ re two strongly opinioned individuals who have no difficulty expressing our perspective.
He felt better instantly.“ Oh good,” he replied. I’ m not sure I’ d ever believe someone who said,“ Of course not. All over long ago.”
“ Fight” might be a loaded word for some. Conflict. Disagreement. Dust up. Or as we say,“ an intense moment of fellowship.” Whichever term you prefer, it means there’ s a difference of opinion and lack of agreement. God’ s word helps us understand the importance of agreement in Matthew 18:19“ I promise that when any two of you on earth agree about something you are praying for, my Father in heaven will do it for you”( CEV).
Since agreement is a powerful place to live, it’ s essential to work together to find our way back when we’ ve wandered.
So as my friend and I continued to chat, he recalled his very first fight with his wife.“ We were married a short time, and I can’ t