Once I realized this, I resolved never to
look closely in a TSA bin again. Some
questions are better left unasked. the Allies to take Normandy from the
Axis powers, and for the United States
to beat Russia in the space race.
Now when I travel I grab a bin from
the stack, turn it upside down, and
give it a smack before placing my
belongings inside. My hope is that
whatever stowaway tresses trying
to smuggle themselves home in my
bag will be shaken loose. Is that little
ritual enough to overcome the static
field that makes these dirty communal
plastic pieces such a haven for hiding
hair? I don’t care. The placebo effect is
fine by me. It is critical that you realize that your
mind is the high ground of your life. In
Paradise Lost, John Milton observed,
“The mind is its own place, and in it
self / Can make a Heav’n of Hell, a Hell
of Heav’n.”
That brings up what I want to talk
to you about. (No, not hair; that was
simply an opportunity to get some
free therapy, since Jennie and the girls
won’t listen to me complain about the
subject anymore.) I want to talk to you
about TSA and why you need to install
checkpoints in your mind.
In battle, the advantage always goes to
the side in control of elevated positions.
That’s why it was so important for
the British to displace the American
patriots in the Battle of Bunker Hill, for
When I taught my daughter Alivia to
snowboard, one of the most important
things I tried to get her to understand
was that where she turned her head
would determine where her body
would go. So if she wanted to set up
a turn to her heel edge, she needed to
look over her left shoulder. To turn to
her toe edge, she needed to look over
her right shoulder. Otherwise, all the
footwork in the world would be in vain.
Your body is really good at following
the direction you face.
That is why you need a TSA-style
checkpoint in your skull. TSA wields
such power; they are in total control
of what you bring onto the plane. Once
you step up to the podium and hand
over your documents for inspection,
Solutions • 21