Solutions April 2018 | Page 61

Love That Lasts : How We Discovered God’s Better Way for Love, Dating Marriage, and Sex By Jefferson & Alyssa Bethke My generation seemed to really get the short end of the stick when it came to relationships, as there were really only two—admittedly stereotypical— extremes. you’re married and having sex on the first date. The first one is what I like to call the “do whatever you want” policy. Since the sexual revolution in the 1960s, our culture has had a distorted view of freedom, which plays out by basically making two rules—first, Do whatever you want and whatever feels good, as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody else. Second, don’t you ever dare to tell anyone whatever they are doing is wrong or could cause hurt, or damage, or not be the best for them. And here’s where the church made a big mistake (of course I’m generalizing here, this doesn’t apply to every church or person, but the pervasive ethos of the day). They became reactionary and started defining themselves by what they were against instead of what they were for. Instead of the church driving the conversation about sexuality, dating, and marriage, we let the culture shape the narrative, and we responded. Casual sex. Porn. Hooking up. Living together. That’s the new normal. Sex is bad. Don’t hold hands. This means that things that were unheard of before moved to being normal on a grand scale culturally, such as moving in together before If you kiss your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’re in sin. Your virginity is your identity. Solutions • 61